The Real Housewives Empire

I’m back people! After a few months of juggling school and choirs and a conference and a social life, things are slowing down…but only slightly. So since I have a little bit of time, I thought I would make a blog post. This is not the typical recap, and if it’s boring I apologize, bit I wanted to put some things out there. I just wanted to give my thoughts and opinions on what is going on with the beloved Real Housewives empire.

It’s no secret that I love the Real Housewives. I own probably 20 seasons of Real Housewives DVDs as well as two books. I even try to plan things around my TV schedule. I have gotten many other people hooked on it…even a few straight males, although they would never admit it…

Domestically, we have 5 “thriving” series, one cancelled series, and one series on life support…

Real Housewives of Orange County:

This is the original series in the franchise. Nine seasons have completed airing. In my opinion, this is the gold standard for the Real Housewives franchise. It is consistently entertaining and dramatic. I foresee this series continuing for quite a while if the producers continue on the current path.

Real Housewives of New York City:

Season 3 was by far the best of this series. I’m not saying that Bethenny made the show, but rather I think it was the chemistry amongst the collective group. Season 4 turned from dramatic and entertaining to dark and unpleasant. I distinctly remember getting heartburn while I was watching the reunion. Bravo then had a mass firing, and I was optimistic for the new women on season 5. I genuinely liked the three new housewives, Heather, Carole, and (to a lesser extent) Aviva, but the show was just boring. Then there was a two year break between seasons, and season 6 was even worse. The producers need to figure something out, or I feel the show will continue to lose viewers.

Real Housewives of Atlanta:

Atlanta has become the most popular in the franchise. Their seasons are always a great combination of drama and comedy. These housewives are skilled “readers”, so a lot of times the drama and comedy are intertwined. I am concerned about the current season, however. I know we’re only two episodes in, but I have a feeling this season will be darker. With our resident Greek chorus, Phaedra Parks, dealing with Apollo going to jail and the dissolving of their marriage, her storyline will not lend itself to light hearted bitchiness and one-liners. But we shall see…

Real Housewives of New Jersey:

This series is in limbo, in my opinion. The season that just ended was horrific, and it was cut short for some unknown reason. Rumor has it they are cramming in another season of filming before Teresa “goes away” for a little while. I think this is a terrible idea. With the deplorable season we just witnessed, the producers need to take a step back and re-evaluate the show. If you recall, they did the same thing between seasons 3 and 4. As soon as season 3 finished, season 4 started filming. And as a result of rushed production and forced storylines and the dragging out of Teresa and Joe’s sibling rivalry, we got a lackluster season. You would think the producers would have learned their lesson. One more bad season, and I may just stop watching… Ok I’m full of shit… I’ll keep watching as long as they’re on the air, but I’ll complain loudly about it…

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:

Beverly Hills is another popular series of the franchise. The cast was rather stagnant for a couple of years, but last season they added two new housewives, Carlton and Joyce, whom they fired as soon as the season wrapped. In general, I have thought the seasons have been very entertaining. But I’m dubious about the new season, which is set to premier tonight. The two new housewives are both actresses, and soap-opera actresses at that. This raises major red flags to me. Soap-opera style acting is forced and over the top; in no way is it realistic. I am afraid these two ladies, no matter how fabulous they are, may fall into the trap of forcing drama and overreacting, as exhibited by the clip of Lisa Rinna throwing a glass. Also, this season has been hyped to be a great season. I have learned from experience that this typically means Bravo is concerned with the quality, so they oversell in order to get people to watch. This always backfires. With high praise and expectations, the viewers are expecting something amazing, and very rarely do they deliver, whereas the seasons that have not been over-advertised have been the best ones.

Real Housewives of Miami:

What can I say about this show? I am one of the few loyal fans who actually found this series to be entertaining. Season 1 was a trial, and it was a little boring, but they revamped the show, and I thought season 2 was great. Even season 3 was more entertaining than the last season of RHONJ. But ratings and viewership never increased. So now the show is on life-support, and no one wants to put money or effort into a sinking ship. As much as it pains me to say, I think Bravo needs to officially announce that they are pulling the plug on this series. They’re prolonging my suffering…

Real Housewives of DC:

This is a controversial topic. From what I have read, viewers either loved or hated this series. I personally loved it. Washington DC, in theory, should be a perfect place for high class and powerful women who partake in clandestine scandalous behavior to be filmed for reality TV, all with an international and political backdrop. I understand that the crashing of the Presidential State Dinner usurped the show, but the simple solution would have been to fire the crazy one and recast for the next season. It has worked before. I don’t think I will ever understand the decision to cancel the show.

Internationally, there are three confirmed shows that share the franchise title as well as two shows that, as far as I know, are still rumored.

Real Housewives of Vancouver:

This was the first non-US version of the show. I absolutely adored this series. Both seasons were great. Right now, the show is listed as “on hiatus”, but it has been that way for quite a while. At this point I doubt it will come back, as sad as that is for me to say… I also never understood why Bravo never aired it on the American channel. Surely they have the rights to the name of the franchise, so they technically own the show, so why not let the American fans of the franchise see it? I’m almost positive it would have been a hit here, and I think one of the production companies that works with one of the other series could have rescued the show and made it a series for Bravo for its third season. This is still not outside of the realm of possibility, but that window is closing fast…

Real Housewives of Melbourne is about to premier season 2 in Australia. Bravo aired season 1 on Sundays this late summer/early fall, and from what I have read, it was met with very good ratings, especially considering it was on mid-day on Sundays. I hope Bravo decides to air season 2 at some point.

Real Housewives of Cheshire is in production and set to premier some time in 2015. Also, there are rumors floating around for a Real Housewives of Johannesburg and maybe even a second series elsewhere in Australia. As a few of the American series are hitting rough times and are on the verge of sinking, the international versions are really taking off. Let’s hope our American ladies can get back on the right track and restore the franchise to its glory.

I’m hoping on Thursday to start recapping. Let me know if you have any preferences of which show you would like me to write about. 

RHONJ Season 6-- WTF is going on?!

Today I wanted to break down some of the things going on this season on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’m not sure what is going on with this show, but there must be some turmoil going on behind the scenes, and if production doesn’t think we can detect that, they must take us all for idiots.

This season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey started off with a bang. Within the first few episodes there were rumors and gossip going around and even a physical altercation that broke out between the twins and Amber. The ladies started to work out their issues when Victoria Gotti drops the bomb to Amber and Teresa G. that Rino cheated on his wife with his mother-in-law. Prior to the Florida trip, Teresa G. shared the rumor with Dina for reasons I’m still not exactly clear on. Dina was torn between two paths of action. Does she tell Nicole and Teresa that there is a horrific rumor going around about their family, or does she not entertain the drama and pretend that she never heard anything? In my opinion, she’s screwed either way.

The altercation during the Florida trip was supposed to rival the season three Scary Island trip of the Real Housewives of New York City where Kelly has a mental breakdown, or “breakthrough” as she calls it (perhaps she was breaking through her façade of sanity?). The Scary Island trip left me mortified yet entertained, like a train wreck you can’t stop watching. However, the Florida trip left me confused and irritated. I could make no sense of the flow of events. All I know for sure is that at one point Bobby locked himself in the bathroom like a teenage girl and Amber smoked a cigarette. Amber later apologized “to everyone” on Watch What Happens Live for smoking said cigarette… Um… I don’t really give a shit what Amber sticks in her mouth, be it in the bedroom or in public. It’s a free country…

It’s clear to me that Jim wants to solidify himself as the villain on the show. He has gone after almost every person affiliated with the show and has caused more drama than his wife. Is this a strategic move to keep Amber looking nice and innocent, or does Jim just think his wife is not entertaining and inept at keeping a job like this?  

Teresa G. is being blamed for the spreading of the rumor, but she didn’t actually spread the rumor; she only told Dina, her closest friend right now. If she wanted to hurt the twins, she could have easily spread it like wildfire to anyone who would listen. I still question Teresa G.’s intentions behind telling Dina, but it’s obvious it was not done with malicious intent. In a preview of the upcoming season finale, one of the twins, I’m still not sure how exactly to tell them apart, is shown saying “Karma’s a bitch… Clink, clink…” as she imitates a pair of handcuffed wrists. First of all, that’s a pretty horrible thing to say. Second of all, I think Teresa G. going to prison is her karma for breaking the law…but then again what do I know…

Also, Kathy and Jacqueline were not cast members this season, yet we saw them over and over again, and often times they had their own scenes. The producers decide to include these boring scenes with non-Housewives, yet they cut some of the dramatic scenes (as I will discuss below). Something just doesn’t smell right…

This brings me to the most confusing part. How is the season finale next week? The trailers for the season showed and teased many things that were not in the season. Amber calls someone “a two-bit whore”, the ladies take a trip to Atlantic City…all of this has been removed. The reunion was filmed very recently, and typically they film reunions for these shows about a month to a month and a half before they air. So this tells me that the choice to cut the season short was made very recently. What happened? Is production trying to hide something? I think we deserve an explanation. This season is abruptly ending, and the viewers are left with nothing but questions and speculation. I know it has been rumored that they are already filming next season, but they have done that before without tampering with the flow of the show. If you recall, they filmed season 4 while season 3 was airing. The Real Housewives of New Jersey was one of the most popular series of the franchise, but I think they may have screwed that up with this season. I don’t know if a great reunion and even a “lost footage” episode can make up for this confusing whirlwind of mess we have been subjected to for the past 14 weeks. I will say that some of the cast members are trying their hardest to keep us interested as they feud on Twitter, but how much will that be able to do? I guess we’ll see what happens…

Please give me your opinions on any of the matters I discussed and include your theories or rumors of why the season is being cut short so suddenly.

The Singles Project Episode 1.08

This week was the season finale of The Singles Project. After a season of highs and lows for the singles, it all comes down to this. Who has found love, or at least the potential for love, and who has fallen flat? Let’s jump in…

Joey

This episode starts with Joey and Jack going on their second date. Since it’s fall they go out to an apple orchard to pick apples. Almost immediately, Jack raises his dislike of the interaction between Joey and Ryan at the end of last week’s episode. Jack didn’t like them kissing and holding hands right after they had had a great date. I’ve brought this up in the past several episode recaps, but it’s worth repeating. Yet again, we see the problem of living your love life while simultaneously having it broadcast for everyone to see, but I’ll leave it at that. I’ve beaten that dead horse past recognition… Joey says he’s serious about Jack, and Jack says he wants Joey to prove that. They have a romantic date, and at one point, Joey calls Jack “crazy”. The word “crazy” has a negative connotation, and to me it seemed Jack looked a little offended. So Joey immediately tried to rectify his mistake by saying he is a fun and good type of crazy… Joey expresses his desire to kiss Jack. Joey even says in his interview that Jack may be “the one”. At the end of the date, Joey looks like he wants to kiss Jack again, but Jack says he doesn’t want to kiss yet; he wants to wait until it feels right.

Later in the episode, Joey is at Tabasum’s birthday party, and Jack shows up with a pie he made with the apples they had picked on their date… This is kinda strange, but it’s adorable. By the end of the episode, I think it’s safe to say that Joey and Jack are now dating. Joey had a rough go of it on the show. It was looking like he was going to strike out, but at the last minute, he made a connection with Jack. I like Joey, but I feel he was playing up his personality for the cameras. Hopefully, he and Jack get to know each other genuinely; I think they have a shot at making it last.

Kerry

This week Kerry and Tripp take a trip (Haha…sorry, I had to do it…) to South Carolina. When they drive up to the house, Tripp’s mother opens the door to greet them. I loved this woman. She is a boisterous and overly-friendly typical Southern woman, at least on the outside. I add that last part because southern women are notorious for being fake. Tripp’s mother could have been dreading meeting Kerry, but southern hospitality requires you to put a smile on your face and never let the other person know what you’re really feeling. I should know…my mother and family do the same thing…it’s normal to us… So on the outside, Tripp’s mother seems to like Kerry, and she says that she likes seeing them together and that they seem to compliment ach other. Then comes the uncomfortable question… Tripp’s mother asks Kerry if her mother likes Tripp any better. You knew it was coming… How can a mother not be curious about why her son is unjustly disliked? So far, this entire meeting has made Kerry very nervous and uncomfortable. She says her mother hasn’t gotten to know Tripp, and then she says something about “projecting” and “displacing” that I didn’t quite understand. She was just dropping psychology terms either in hopes of confusing Tripp’s mom or sounding smart or both…

Later, while Kerry and Tripp are alone, Tripp says he’s happy with where their relationship is going. Kerry says she really likes him, and she didn’t expect things to be moving so fast. She says this feels like it could be a happy ending. I don’t know if there’s much chance for a happy ending considering they are sleeping in separate bedrooms. Tripp’s mother made sure of that… Tripp tells Kerry he wants her to open up, trust him, and let him in. However, Kerry is a bit reserved. She has been hurt before, so she thinks twice before letting just anyone in. While sitting on the dock by the lake, Tripp talks about having kids and how he hopes to one day bring them to this lake where he has childhood memories. They decide to be impulsive and jump in the lake. Of course, Kerry, who doesn’t seem to be shy when discussing bathroom topics like giving anal birth to a watermelon, announces that she has to pee and proceeds to do so in the lake. Tripp says that he is swimming in warm water and then yells “I’m swimming in your piss!!” Perhaps that counts as a happy ending?...

Later we see Kerry and her mother walking together. They meet to talk about Kerry’s trip to South Carolina. Kerry’s mom takes the opportunity to throw some shade saying Tripp didn’t have to miss work while they were gone… She’s obviously worried about Tripp’s art profession. Kerry springs it on her mom that Tripp is waiting at a coffee shop for them, and they walk to meet him. The chat among the three starts out awkwardly. Kerry’s mom breaks down and asks them if they are “boyfriend and girlfriend”. They respond, “yes” almost in unison. Tripp obviously wants to impress Kerry’s mother and make her happy. Kerry’s mother admits she was engaged to her father after only a few weeks of knowing each other. She gives her blessing for their relationship and says she wants Kerry to be happy, but I have a feeling the want to not seem hypocritical is a big factor as well. The season has been an overall positive one for Kerry. She found love rather quickly, and I think Kerry and Tripp make a fun and interesting couple. I wish them the best. I will admit, I didn’t like Kerry at the beginning of the show, but as she got to know Tripp and let her guard down, I grew to like her.

Lee & Ericka

We see Lee out with his friends having a few drinks and a good time. He says his “girlfriend” is coming to join them, and his friends heckle him for using “the word”. Ericka gets to the restaurant, and the guys are already drunk. She says she felt like she was walking into a frat house… They get on the topic of love, and Lee says whenever you’re not looking for love is when you find it… Exactly how drunk is Lee? Does he not realize he is making no sense? He is currently on a TV show all about dating and looking for love… Lee’s friends start asking Ericka about her feelings and intentions toward Lee, but she gets uncomfortable. She and Lee haven’t really talked about this one-on-one yet. She feels ambushed, and she wants to be able to have a conversation like that in private. Ericka gets visibly angry and upset, and she decides to leave. Lee follows her… Ericka feels Lee’s brother is always interrogating their relationship, but it’s only been 8 weeks… Lee knows he’s drunk and he doesn’t want to say anything he might regret, so he puts her in a cab to go home. At the last minute he tells her she needs to communicate and think about if she want this to work. Ericka replies, “So do you, honey…”

Two days after the disastrous meeting, Ericka and Lee still haven’t spoken. Ericka has lunch with her mother, and she tells her mother that she feels Lee has bullied her into the position she is in. She clarifies that she is not afraid of love, but she has doubts. Her mother gives her some sound advice saying that you can’t over think things when it comes to matters of the heart; let him in and see where it takes you. It seems to me we’ve heard this before…last week…in the pool…from Lee himself. I guess Ericka has to hear it from her mother before she believes it. Mother knows best, after all.

Later at Tabasum’s birthday party, Lee says he has tried to contact Ericka, but she has ignored him. He later approaches her and apologizes. Ericka says she enjoys spending time with him, but she feels it’s moving too fast. Lee says he’s willing to jump off a cliff for her and that he has already fallen for her. Lee and Ericka started the season on friendly terms giving each other dating advice, but you could see and almost feel the chemistry between the two of them through the TV. I think the aspect of being on TV might have been a little much and tested their willingness to be together, but ultimately they are ending the season as a couple. I wonder how it will work out. I predict that now they are on their own, not on TV, things might be less volatile.

Tabasum

Tabasum says she’s done dating younger men. She wants to date more mature men her age. She goes on a date with Vincent, a 40-something British guy who now lives in New York. He brings her chocolate, and they take a carriage ride eating Cadbury chocolate while getting to know each other. Tabasum says she feels like she’s in a rom-com. I agree, but I would add the qualifier “cheesy” in front of “rom-com”. Really… Who takes carriage rides anymore?... The subject of accents comes up, and Vincent tries to do a “Louisiana accent”, per Tabasum’s request. Now I am from Louisiana, and I can say that the idiots on Tru Blood do a better job, and that’s really saying something because they are TERRIBLE!... Vincent says he wants to have kids and a family. Tabasum says she really wants that special someone to spend time with, share her life with, and come home to everyday. They end up cuddling in the back of the carriage.

This week is Tabasum’s birthday, and she has a birthday party. She invited Vincent, and is hopeful he will come. Vincent does show up, and he brings her a birthday present: as horseshoe necklace to commemorate their carriage ride. Nice move Vincent! Jewelry is always a good gift idea for a woman, but normally on a second date, I would say it’s creepy and over the top. However, this was a small, obviously inexpensive, and meaningful gift, making it a sweet gesture… Tabasum says to her friend that she doesn’t feel fireworks when she’s with Vincent. Her friend tells her to see where it goes; things happen in time. Tabasum agrees to give Vincent a chance. Tabasum has by far been my favorite on the show. She has proven herself to be a strong woman with a strong character who respects herself. I wish her the utmost success in every aspect of life. Who knows, maybe she and Vincent can make this work.

Brian

Brian was barely in this episode at all. Being that this was the last episode, and he had no prospects on the horizon, the producers sorta gave up on him. Brian admits that he’s difficult, and he believes he has the right to be difficult. He goes through the list of his failed dates naming the aspects of each of them that he wants in a woman. If he’s looking for the perfect woman, he will live a lonely life. I’m afraid it’s just impossible. Some things you have to concede to, as long as they aren’t deal-breakers for you. I’m starting to learn that lesson myself. Brian may have crashed and burned on the show, but he hasn’t given up. His search continues.

Overall, I think this show was great. It was a new social experiment giving us a look in on the modern technological world of dating while at the same time allowing us to help clueless singles improve their chances of finding love. I hope the show comes back for a new season with new singles and in a new city. With two-thirds of the singles finding possible matches in the span of about two months, I would gauge the show as a success. Let’s see if we can help out another group of people.

Real Housewives of Melbourne (RHOMelbourne) Episode 110

This week was the season finale of The Real Housewives of Melbourne. In true season finale form, the ladies try to close the door on some of the drama and resolve their issue, but will it work? We’ll find out, but let’s hope not. We want a good reunion show, don’t we?

At the beginning of the episode, Jackie and Ben go to the venue where they are holding the La Mascara launch party. They audition burlesque dancers, and Jackie tells them to envision that they are a drink that everyone wants to drink. I was surprised to see that the burlesque dancers were real women. They weren’t model-esque 90 pound-when-soaking-wet twigs that would blow themselves away with one good fart… Jackie and Ben say they can only hire one of the dancers, but after the auditions, they couldn’t agree on whom to hire, so they hired all four of them.

Then we see a phone call between Janet and Gina. Gina calls Janet to see if she is still coming to her Girls Night In event. As you recall, their last meeting did not go well and ended in what seemed to be the conclusion of their friendship. Janet says she was worried that she may have been uninvited. But the two of them agree that they’ve been friends for so long that their friendship shouldn’t be thrown away over this drama. They decide to patch things up and move forward. Janet admits that she sees both sides of the Andrea and Gina issues.

While Lydia and Andrea are out having lunch, Gina calls Lydia about attending her event. Lydia makes up a lame excuse about how she has had plans to spend time with her mother. You can tell Gina doesn’t buy it; she says she hopes the reason Lydia is not coming is not because of Andrea. Lydia says, “No…no…” So she’s lying straight to Gina’s face. Even Andrea calls Lydia out on her lie. She says in an interview that Lydia should have told Gina the real reason… Lydia asks Gina if she will invite Andrea to the event. Gina says that this event is deeply personal to her and that Andrea probably doesn’t want to come anyway. As Gina is answering the question that Lydia just asked her, Lydia says in her interview, imitating the act of talking on the phone, “I don’t care, Gina.” Furthermore, she puts the phone down on the table while Gina is talking… Why ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer?

Andrea and Lydia mention that they heard Janet might be going to Gina’s event even though they also heard that their last confrontation was the “end of the friendship”. They decide to call Janet to ask her about it. Janet says about Gina that she’s “done bagging on her”. Janet tries to explain herself and how she wants to move forward with Gina, but Lydia and Andrea don’t want to hear it. Several times they interrupt her saying, “Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet…” Now that Janet is not on their side, they have no interest in what she has to say. Lydia calls Janet weak… Is being an adult and forgiving someone weak? I’d say holding a grudge over petty nonsense is weak… By the way, I readily admit that I’m often weak in this regard… Andrea also says her 5 year old has better manners than Gina. I guess Andrea’s nannies are teaching them well…

Later we see Andrea’s book cover photo shoot. She tells the photographer, who I’m sure couldn’t care less, that she is super busy and she spends so much time running around taking care of her children… Who else started laughing after she said that? It took me a minute to realize that she wasn’t joking… Andrea wants the photographer to make her into a new person. This is the first time she’s being truthful. She doesn’t think her being her will sell any books apparently… Lydia shows up to the photo shoot with flowers and champagne. They talk about Gina and start impersonating all the other ladies as the photographer takes pictures of them. Do they have nothing better to do? They’re wasting the photographer’s time with this? I’d be pissed off if I were the photographer.

We then see some of the girls on their way to Gina’s event. Jackie says she’s going to the event to support Gina. She’s over the drama with Gina, but Gina needs to prove that she’s a real friend. During the event, Gina pours out her heart to the ladies about how she survived cancer. She says she had a low chance of survival, and when she lost her hair from the chemotherapy, people were not sure how to treat her. They acted as if her cancer was contagious. But she doesn’t blame them for their reactions. It’s a hard thing to deal with and wrap your mind around; it’s impossible to have empathy if you’ve never gone through it yourself. Gina announces she wants to write a book about being a cancer survivor. She wants to give hope for a promising future to the people who are going through it… She gives gift bags to her guests while also announcing that she’s starting a soap line… I’m not sure where that fits in. I was very confused. And apparently Jackie was just as confused. She says she doesn’t understand where a soap line is coming from; Gina “can’t be a Kardashian…”

Gina and Chyka meet to catch up with one another. Chyka says that Gina is not innocent in all of the drama, but she doesn’t deserve the treatment she’s gotten from Andrea and Lydia. Gina makes the comment that she thinks Lydia is over everything and has no problem with her… Little does Gina know that Lydia is being highly fake and hypocritical. Chyka tells Gina, with regard to the drama with Andrea, that someone has to take the lead to move past everything and act like adults. Gina seems to agree but tells Chyka she is being cautious with Janet who seems to blab everything she is told.

Ben and Jackie are putting the final touches on their launch party. Ben stays up most of the night spray-painting masks for the party. Ben is obviously delirious from the lack of sleep mixed with the paint fumes, so Jackie thinks it’s a good idea to put a rubber glove over his nose… Not a bright thing to do, Jackie! That would have the same effect as having a plastic bag on his head. Then she’d have another event to plan…his funeral.

Now we get to the really interesting part of the episode. Finally, Gina and Andrea meet for a one-on-one conversation. Gina starts by saying she does not recall having used the c-word in reference to Andrea. She apologizes if she did in fact say it. Andrea takes this and spins it into an attack. She asks if Gina is saying that Janet is a liar. Gina responds with, “If I wanted to say Janet is a liar, I would say it…” You have to love the precision and attention to semantics that lawyers are known for… Gina clarifies what she is saying by claiming it was all a Chinese whisper; things were taken out of context and have been misconstrued. Gina says, “If I said it, I am terribly sorry…” Andrea doesn’t accept that apology. Andrea brings out a checklist of her problems with Gina. Andrea says this isn’t a personal meeting; it’s a business meeting… They continue arguing back and forth. Andrea says she heard Gina is starting a soap line, and she asks if she is doing that so she can wash her mouth out? A nasty question deserves a nasty response… Gina says maybe Lydia can use it to wash out her vagina… During the argument, Andrea pulls out her makeup while Gina is speaking. She’s using Gina’s tricks against her… Gina starts to lose her cool, and she says Andrea owes her an apology for her horrendous behavior. Andrea starts to leave, but Gina insists on leaving first. Andrea sits back down at the table to have some champagne even though she claims she has to go back to “work”. Gina says her husband needs to check her medications; she needs to take the testosterone down. Gina leaves with these parting words: “Good luck with your deck of cards…that are about to topple…” I couldn’t help but notice and chuckle at the poor people at the restaurant. We can see two girls staring at Gina yelling at Andrea about a deck of cards. What wouldn’t I give to be in their place?

Jackie’s mother Svetlana accompanies her and Janet in the limo to the La Mascara launch party. Of course, Lydia and Andrea ride together separately; those two are never apart. Lydia says she will honor Jackie and Ben at the party, and she will not create drama or deal with Gina. Gina arrives saying she would rather not be there, but she wants to support Jackie’s business ventures. Lydia says Gina’s arrival changes the “feel” of the party… The launch of this company is a dream-come-true for Jackie and Ben. Jackie says the universe provides when you do things for the right reasons. She starts to get teary eyed as she thanks Ben for everything and all his support. From what I understand, La Mascara seems to be doing well. I can’t wait to try it when and if it comes to the US.

During the launch party, all of the ladies sit down together for the first time since Mission Beach. Gina says that in this group, it’s survival of the fittest, and Janet is too weak to stand alone. Poor Janet has been called weak by both Lydia and Gina this episode, all because she has changed her position to be neutral in the argument. Interestingly enough, Chyka is in a similar position, but not once was she called “weak”. Then Chyka takes a turn on Janet saying she knows now that Janet isn’t really trustworthy… Janet admits that she was the reason for most of the drama because of her spreading of gossip, but she maintains it was accidental. But we must admit, thank God Janet can’t keep her mouth shut! Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had a season worth watching. #JustSaying…

This was a great first season. And the reunion is just as entertaining. The reunion is in two parts, but I will cover the whole reunion in one blog post.

I’m looking for suggestions for new shows to cover. I’m thinking about recapping the new season of American Horror Story on Thursdays, and it was suggested to me that I start blogging about things that happen while the shows are airing, like Twitter feuds. I think it’s a great idea; I can really let my snarkiness out… Let me know what you think in the comments below. I love getting feedback.

The Singles Project Episode 1.07

This week’s episode of The Singles Project was a little bit of a shake up. We saw some things I did not expect and with Lee and Ericka now officially together, we only saw them together, so I will naturally discuss them…you guessed it…TOGETHER. Let’s jump right in…

Kerry

At the beginning of this episode, we see Kerry give in to peer pressure. (For the sake of not pulling back the curtain of reality TV magic, I’ll stick with the peer pressure story, but it’s entirely possible that dating this new guy was producer-engineered… But again I won’t dive deeply into that theory.) Last week we saw her friends pressuring her not to commit to Tripp so quickly and see what happens with some other guys, “play the field” as some would call it. In normal life, that’s how it works and that’s what people do. But when your every social and romantic move is caught on camera for a national television show for everyone to see, including your dates, it becomes a sticky situation. We see later what I’m talking about…

So Kerry goes on a date with a new guy, Alex. She says he’s more the type of guy her parents would want her to date… As soon as she said this, I knew the date was doomed…  They decide to order some food, and Alex seems to be very excited about Brussels sprouts. He goes on to say that they cure cancer… Clearly he is working for some special interest group or is highly invested in the sales of Brussels sprouts… Oh wait, never mind… apparently that was a joke… I don’t know about you, but my sides hurt from all the laughter… Kerry makes a comment about his table manners. She doesn’t like the fact that he’s holding the fork like “a caveman”. Knowing that this is going nowhere, she excuses herself to the bathroom and calls her friend. She wants to bolt, and neither her friend nor I blame her for that. Kerry returns to the table to make a horrifying excuse… Let me give you the gist of what she said… Basically, Kerry needs to shit a watermelon baby in a bathroom with better ventilation… Yeah, she more or less said that to her date at the dinner table.

Of course all of that is a lie, thankfully, and she goes outside to call Tripp. She admits up front that she is on a date with another guy. (She knows there’s no point in lying. He’ll just end up seeing it in a few days.) Tripp is upset that she is seeing someone else… And there it is. In anyone else’s life, they would have told a little white lie so as not to hurt Tripp and would not have felt guilty about keeping their options open. Furthermore, I think Tripp is being a little over-sensitive. They have gone on probably four dates, and they are not yet committed. He knows Kerry likes him, and her calling him while on a date with someone else should make him feel flattered. Kerry asks Tripp to accompany her to Brian’s birthday party, but he is reluctant and a little hurt.

Later at the birthday party, Kerry says she texted Tripp about coming with her, but he ignored her… But then in a moment of producer-engineered magic, Tripp shows up to the party and steals Kerry away from the table. Kerry says she thought he would never talk to her again, and they ask for each other’s forgiveness. He tells her to come with him to South Carolina on a plane to a lake house to meet his mother. He wants to do something spontaneous together. For once in her life, Kerry is speechless. I don’t think she saw that coming. But of course, we’re left in suspense and won’t find out what happens until next week.

Joey

This week we see Joey and Brian go out on a double date. Joey says the two of them are sitting “at the loser’s table”. They have both crashed and burned on the show. During the double date, the waiter mentions one of the menu items (obvious product placement) and says “Pino’s burger”. Of course, the two gay guys hear “penis burger”… I must admit I heard the same thing. I almost did a spit take… Joey is having a great time with his date, Ryan, but Brian is not. Joey invites his date to Brian’s birthday party, leaving Brian in an awkward position. He clearly does not like his date and does not want to invite her to his birthday party. So he awkwardly says he doesn’t want to invite her because he wants to be around the important people in his life on his birthday… nice save Brian…

Later, Joey goes out with another guy, Jack. The two of them seem to hit it off immediately. Joey calls Jack neurotic “in an adorable way”… Just like me… During the date, Joey talks positively and in depth about his date the previous night with Ryan. Jack doesn’t really want to hear about it, and I completely understand why. Why would you want to hear about how much your date liked spending a romantic evening with another person? I wanted to be there so I could kick Joey under the table to get him to shut up… Joey says he wants to go out with Jack again. That’s two great dates in a row after a slew of bad luck. Looks like things might be turning around for Joey.

Ryan shows up to Brian’s birthday party, and Kerry and Tabasum fawn over him. Joey and Ryan excuse themselves from the dinner table to go talk in private. Joey tells Ryan he went out for lunch with “a friend”, which was really his date with Jack… Uh oh… This might be a problem. Like I said before, that is a harmless white lie than any normal person in this situation would tell, but with all of this being televised, that white lie has the potential to bite Joey in the ass. I hope Ryan is understanding for Joey’s sake.

Tabasum

Tabasum is still seeing Alex. Their first two dates went very well, and for the third date Alex has invited her to his home in New Jersey. Tabasum seemed a little concerned about that choice. It’s only the third date, and inviting a date to your home usually means he wants one thing. Tabasum is smart. She is giving him he benefit of the doubt that he will not try anything slick, and she made sure to book a return car service for the evening. Things start off well, and it turns into a romantic evening. Tabasum says she misses cuddling and kissing, and she hasn’t had sex in a long time… It was at this moment that I saw something different in Alex… He seems quite drunk, and he starts talking about sex. This is obviously a turn off for Tabasum. You can see on her face that she is quickly realizing Alex could be the sleazy guy she was hoping he wasn’t. Alex tries to get comfortable on the couch, and Tabasum knows that he wants to have sex. He asks her to stay, but she decides to leave. Tabasum says she does not have sex before monogamy… Patti Stanger would be proud… I want to take this opportunity to say I have the utmost respect for Tabasum in this situation. I imagine a lot of women would have seen this as a moment to solidify their name and become famous and remembered by doing something big and slutty on television, but Tabasum holds fast to her beliefs and self-respect. She is a strong and respectable woman. Good for you, Tabasum!

She decides to give Alex another shot, and she sees him again, this time in a public place. She wants to have serious talk in order to get to know each other instead of kissing and flirting. She asks Alex if he wants to be in a serious relationship. Alex responds, “For the most part I want to have fun…”. Now Tabasum has his number. She knows exactly what Alex is and how he plays his game. Alex is the type of guy who at first is suave and debonair in order to lure the woman in. He acts respectable and like a gentleman. As soon as he feels the woman really falling for it, he changes and starts moving in for what he really wants, sex. I don’t know if he ever really liked or respected Tabasum. And if he didn’t, he has seriously bad taste. I like to call guys like Alex “the eternal frat douche”. They will always have that frat boy, oversexed mentality until it’s too late and they end up alone, or until someone like Tabasum makes them realize that they’re missing out on something great. Thankfully, Tabasum is an intelligent woman who can see through his BS. She calls him “a douche” and says she is done.

Lee and Ericka

This is the first week Lee and Ericka are officially together. So naturally, we don’t see them much this episode. They are a success story of the show, and the episode focuses on the other singles. We see them spend their day at the beach. Ericka uses the word “boyfriend” and smiles a lot while saying it. They go back to a beach home and relax in the pool. Lee says he would go “off the grid” for Ericka any day, and he wants her to stop thinking so much. She brings up how Lee said he is falling in love with her, and she wants to know if that is true or if he was saying that in the heat of the moment. Lee points out that this is an example of Ericka over-thinking. They talk about going to Brian’s birthday dinner, but they decide to stay where they are and be with each other.

Brian

This week’s episode coincided with Brian’s birthday. Poor guy… All he got to show for it was a lousy double date with Joey, a small dinner party, and about 5 minutes of actual screen time…

Next week is the season finale. Will Lee and Ericka make this work? Will Kerry go with Tripp to South Carolina? Who will Joey pick to get serious with, Ryan or Jack? And will Tabasum and Brian find the love they deserve? We’ll have to watch next week to find out. 

Real Housewives of Melbourne (RHOMelbourne) Episode 109

Photo courtesy of the-flack.com

The last episode was full of different housewives’ events and even more planning for future events. For the most part, it was a tame episode, but it served to move plot lines forward for more confrontations, one at the end of the present episode between Janet and Gina…but I’ll get to that in a bit.

The episode starts with Chyka and Janet going shopping. They discuss Gina’s “surprise” appearance at Chyka’s event. Janet says Gina entered like “Darth Vader”. Chyka admits that she knew Gina was going to show up at the event, but she kept it from the other ladies. Janet says in her confessional, “It’s easy for Chyka to be neutral when she’s not being attacked.” I suppose Janet has taken a sip of Andrea’s delusion inducing Not-So-Kool-Ade. Lucky for you, I have not, so I remember what actually happened. I seem to recall three grown women ambushing Gina at a dinner table resulting in a heated and aggressive confrontation.

Next we see Gina visit a dating service for business owners and professionals. She tells us that she hasn’t been single since age 14… We won’t think about how long ago that was… She also says she hasn’t dated in 8 years. She admits to the dating service representative that she sometimes cross-examines guys with whom she is in a relationship. The guys don’t seem to like that. Considering we know Gina has made witnesses cry, I can see why guys might run away from that. Since she just got out of a long relationship, Gina says she is reserved and doesn’t know if she’s ready to date yet.

Lydia and her housekeeper, Joanna, have a strange relationship. Lydia treats her like a friend, but she makes sure she still comes across as dominant so Joanna knows who is in charge. Lydia marvels at Joanna’s kitchen techniques, which most people would call “cutting vegetables”… Yes, you picked up on the shade correctly… Lydia was actually interested in how Joanna cut her vegetables. Lydia asks Joanna to help her pick out some different outfits. Apparently, Joanna has an interest in fashion and keeps Lydia on point with her fashion choices. To be honest, I haven’t noticed anything overly fabulous in Lydia’s wardrobe. She needs to start living up to the Real Housewife title… Lydia says Joanna is more than a housekeeper; she’s a friend. She’s Lydia’s “house-friend”.  

Jackie and Ben meet with someone who brings over the packaging for their La Mascara line of alcoholic beverages. Jackie asks Chyka, who with her husband has marketed a successful business, to give her opinion on the packaging. Chyka calls the packaging “fabulous”, and I tend to agree. However, Ben and Jackie still have a long way to go in bottling and even creating the product that will eventually go into the packaging. I understand the importance of aesthetics; I stupidly favor form over function. But in this case, the actual product should be the focus. Sure someone will buy a cocktail or bottle of wine because the packaging looks cool and fun, but once they taste a horrid product inside, they will not buy it again. So I would put a little more emphasis on the actual product first.

Next we see Lydia, Andrea, Gina, and Chyka as they go on a shopping excursion. This read completely false to me. It had to have been a producer set-up. There is no way Andrea and Gina would voluntarily be in the same place at the same time. I imagine they were threatened by production and were compelled to comply. I guess production felt they needed a little more awkwardness and drama. Lydia and Chyka first pick up Gina at her house. Gina gets into the limo, and Lydia could not be more fake. She acts like she has no problem with Gina. There’s a huge difference between being cordial and being friendly. Lydia was being friendly… Lydia even feigns concern by asking Gina if she will be okay with Andrea while shopping together. Gina gives Lydia a look and fake smile as if to say, “Bitch, I’d rather not be here, but I have no choice…” The ladies then pick up Andrea, who apparently didn’t know that Gina would be riding in the limo with them. She says she would have rather taken a taxi. Did she expect Gina would be riding on the roof of the limo?... Of course it works out that Gina and Andrea are forced to sit next to each other. They completely ignore each other, and Andrea, being the uncreative type, pulls a Gina and starts putting on makeup during the conversation. (You may recall Gina doing the exact same thing while being berated at the dinner table in Mission Beach.) Gina says Andrea doesn’t care if she’s dead or alive.

Later, while the ladies are in the store, which I should point had not even been open to the public yet, more awkwardness and silence ensues. Any time Gina and Andrea were around each other, it seemed they would both be silent. As soon as one left, the other would start talking up a storm. It was during one such time that Gina announced to Lydia and Chyka that she is having an event for cancer awareness and fund raising called “Girl’s Night In”. She isn’t sure if she will invite Andrea. Lydia fires back at Gina that she needs to get over all of their issues. Lydia then runs to Andrea at the first opportunity to tell her about the event and how she most likely won’t be invited. Andrea will not be outdone. How does she respond? She pulls the idea of a “day of pampering” out of her ass… Yeah, a spa day is right on par with a fundraiser for cancer research… Andrea says she doesn’t know if she will invite Gina. I was waiting with bated breath for the ever levelheaded Lydia to tell Andrea to get over all the drama. Of course I’m being sarcastic. If that were true I would not be writing this because I would be dead… Lydia instead shows her hypocrisy by saying Gina shouldn’t be invited because of her behavior…

Next we see Jackie and Ben in the recording studio. Jackie tells Ben that she invited Janet to stop by, and Ben seems a little irritated. I can’t say I blame him. That’s like having your spouse invite a friend to your office for a gossip session in the middle of the workday. First of all, why? And second, you’re never going to be productive… Ben asks them to sit in the back of the studio and be quiet while he works. Yeah, good luck with that one, Ben… Jackie and Janet start talking, and at one point, Jackie even shushed Ben whose work and productivity are interrupting the ladies chitchat. While they are at the studio, Gina calls Jackie and invites her to the Girls Night In. Janet, eavesdropping on the speakerphone conversation, says if Gina asks her to go, she will because it’s for a good cause.

Now to the part of the episode I know you all loved the most…the dog party! I must say I like dogs, but I am not a “dog person”. I don’t get the appeal of a dog party. But I won’t judge…too much… Janet arrives with her dogs who seem to be very anti-social; they don’t want to leave their cozy Louis Vuitton home. Andrea arrives and again harps on the fact that Gina hasn’t yet apologized, and that’s all she wants… Allow me to flash back for a moment. If you recall, Gina started to apologize at Mission Beach when Janet first confronted her. However, before she had the chance to fully apologize, Andrea jumped into the conversation and completely became aggressive, thus causing Gina to become defensive. Gina thinks Andrea deserves to apologize to her… Jackie, in my opinion, is the voice of reason in this situation. She is amazed at the level of crazy of these women for having and attending a dog party. The party is catered complete with cupcakes made especially for the dogs. As Jackie said, some kids don’t get parties this grand. Chyka says her business will not be expanding into catering dog parties. I thought this party couldn’t get any more ridiculous, but then they pulled out the dog costumes… I think I’ll just leave it there. I’ve had people ask me to critique the dogs’ outfits as I would any housewives, and I am entertaining the idea. If I get enough requests for it, I will do it. So leave a comment if you want me to do it.  

Ben and Jackie are looking for a venue for their La Mascara launch party. However, they still don’t have a product yet. But the angels are on Jackie’s side. Ben asks a very important question that anyone starting a new business for the first time would ask. What happens if their drink line is a flop? Jackie doesn’t want to hear the negativity. She says he better sell more records. That’s a great answer to an important question…

Gina goes on a blind date with a guy named Daryl. She says she has never gone on a blind date. She quickly follows that fact up saying she is not disappointed… Must be nice. I’ve been on several blind dates, and each one was worse than the last… Gina and Daryl have a good connection and chemistry, and she hopes to see him again.

During the car ride to the Melbourne Cup party, Lydia tells Jackie and Andrea some news. Gina had called Lydia and told her that Janet said that Lydia was “brainless”. Luckily for us, we actually saw that exchange; it isn’t just hearsay. Andrea says Gina is trying to turn Janet and Lydia against each other. For once, I can see where Andrea is coming from. It seems Gina wants to get more of the girls on her side while at the same time giving Janet a little payback for what she told Lydia and Andrea. At the party, a TV personality is introduced, and the cameras catch Lydia whispering to Jackie “We’re the stars…” I’d hold off on saying that if I were Lydia. Their show hadn’t even started airing at that time. They were still unknown… Lydia pulls Janet aside and confronts her about the “brainless” comment. Janet swears she didn’t say it. Janet says that the comment was that Lydia wasn’t very bright, but a flashback to the previous conversation shows that’s not true… Thank you shady editors. We can always count on you… Janet knows that Gina is paying her back for telling Lydia and Andrea about calling them “c**ts” and the rest of the bathroom talk. Lydia is happy that Janet “owned it”. But did she really? She owned the fact that she insulted Lydia behind her back, but she lied about what she actually said. I don’t count that as owning it. Janet is naturally pissed at Gina, and they sit down to talk in the next scene.

Gina and Janet meet for drinks, and it seems Janet knows it’s not going to go well. She orders a glass of wine because she doesn’t like “dry arguments”. Gina begins by inviting Janet to her Girls Night In event. Gina, who is also inviting Lydia, says Lydia is fine with her. We know that’s not true, but Gina wouldn’t know that considering how Lydia has been acting toward her. Janet launches into the main reason she is there, which is to confront Gina for telling Lydia that she called her “brainless”. Janet calls Gina a bitch, and she wants to know what else she’s told them so she can do some damage control. The topic of the legal email comes up again, but we keep hearing two different sides, and it’s impossible to know who is telling the truth. Janet admits that she thought the behavior at the dinner table in Mission Beach was acceptable and warranted. In response, Gina says that’s the end of their friendship. Janet’s not listening to Gina, and she says Gina should apologize to all of them. She says Gina should hope Chyka remains neutral otherwise she won’t have any friends, and then Janet leaves.

Next week’s season finale promises more drama and more arguments… Make sure to bring your deck of cards…

The Singles Project Episode 1.06

The Singles Project started off slowly, but it’s really starting to get interesting. But if you think about it logically, it makes sense. Now that some of the singles are starting to seriously date and commit to a single person, we get to see the beginning of real relationships. First dates are only interesting and fun to watch if they’re bad. Yeah, I said it, but it’s true. As humans, we like to see others in uncomfortable situations, just as long as we’re not in those situations.

Kerry

Kerry is still seeing Tripp, and it looks like this might be going somewhere. However, there is some family drama that might cause Kerry some issues. Her parents don’t like Tripp. He isn’t the type of guy they want to see her with. Kerry says they don’t like his long hair, and frankly, neither does Kerry. Kerry’s mother also does not like that she is kissing this guy she barely knows on national TV. As a result of all of this, Kerry’s mother isn’t talking to her right now. Tripp defends himself and talks himself up, but all he can really say is that he’s not a starving artist. I know a lot of people would revel in the fat that their parents don’t like whom they are dating, but it seems to bother Kerry. However, she acts like a grown up, for once, and she decides to continue seeing Tripp.

Later in the episode, Kerry visits her aunt to talk about the drama between her mother and Tripp. We finally have confirmation that Kerry is narcissistic, and she knows she is. She states that she likes the fact that Tripp is just like her. If you like the fact that someone is just like you, you are admitting the fact that you are in love with yourself. A healthy dose of this is fine, but something about Kerry tells me that she loves herself a little too much. When you fall in love with someone who is just like you, I tend to think there will be problems down the line. There is a difference between having things in common and being a clone of someone. Two clones do not a good match make.

We see Kerry go out to a bar with two of her friends. While she is there, she meets a nice guy who asks her out on a date, but she turns him down because she’s seeing Tripp. Her friends tell her not to settle so quickly. In their opinion, it’s too early to be exclusive with Tripp. A little while later, she meets another guy at the same bar, but this time she gives him her number. I must admit this made me nervous for Kerry. We are seeing the negative part of this weekly TV aspect. Everyone sees what you’re doing, and whom you’re seeing. So Tripp can see that Kerry is giving her phone number to some other guy. In normal life, this wouldn’t be a problem and is even natural, but if you’re life is basically being seen live on TV, you really have to watch what you say and do. The traditional “player” and the idea of playing the field don’t work. Most people keep their options open when first dating. They don’t commit immediately, but they wouldn’t go tell the person they’re dating that they are thinking of going out with someone else. But being on this show, these singles have to be very careful.

Lee

We first see Lee at a boxing class. He thinks the date with Ericka went well, and he is optimistic and hopeful, and he thinks he sees the same in her eyes. He confidently states that he is not worried about Francesco. However, he says that if Ericka goes out with Francesco again, it would mean she is not “all in”, and he would question whether he should continue dating her. I understand Lee’s position here. He doesn’t want to waste his time, and he only has this national TV exposure for a limited time. He has to make the most of it.

Ericka

Ericka has a lunch date with Francesco. After the date with Lee last week, she is nervous about what Francesco might have to say. He is obviously not happy with what he saw. He says he saw how she looked at Lee, and he didn’t like the look in her eyes. So basically he’s jealous of the fact that she is more attracted to Lee… She tells Francesco that she wants to see both of them, but Francesco says he can’t play games and that seeing her with Lee would hurt him too much. Ericka says, “I can’t know what I want if I don’t explore the options in front of me.” I totally understand that, and that is totally natural. She wants to see what works the best and feels right, but as I said before, the nature of this television show doesn’t seem to allow for that.

Later we see Ericka with her friends at a restaurant. She tells them Francesco has “bowed out”. Lee meets Ericka and her friends at the restaurant for dinner. Lee immediately comes out and says that he’s all in and doesn’t want to date anyone else. He’s fast at commitment. I guess he knows what he wants, and he wants Ericka. Erika admits to Lee that she went on another date with Francesco, but she reassures him that Francesco didn’t like her dating Lee and that he is done. Lee gives Ericka an ultimatum telling her that he wants all or nothing. If she wants to date other guys, he won’t date her, and he doesn’t want to date others either. Ericka is nervous, at first, but she can’t be wishy-washy about this. She takes the chance and agrees to exclusively date Lee.

Joey

Joey has a date scheduled with a guy named Keith to go horseback riding. Keith seems to be a man of mystery…literally… He doesn’t show up for the date… Joey calls him, and Keith gives some vague excuse. He feels from watching the show that they have nothing in common, and the date would be a waste of time. However, I think by the stuttering Keith is doing on the phone, he just got cold feet. He probably thought he could date on national TV with no problem, but then got nervous about it. I also call BS on his lame excuse. Keith has only seen a little bit of edited footage on TV; it’s not enough to know if you will get along with or have chemistry with another person. Joey takes it very well and is very kind to the guy on the phone, but you can tell he’s acting for the camera. He’s pissed off and rightly so. He did say he drove over an hour out of the city to meet Keith, and now it’s all for naught.

Tabasum

At the beginning of the episode, Tabasum and Brian go on the Today Show where Kathy Lee and Hoda pick out dates for them… Um, I don’t think I would trust the matchmaking abilities of two drunken middle-aged women who probably haven’t dated in twenty years… just saying… But Tabasum agrees, probably under duress by producers, to go out with one of the guys chosen for her. She goes for a golf date with Ken. Tabasum has never golfed before, which we immediately see since on the very first swing she gets a divot. During the date, Ken touches her, and Tabasum says she gets goosebumps, but not the good kind. She also mentions that Alex, her hot date from last week, has not contacted her since she announced her real age. Ken is very interested in having kids, and he asks Tabasum about her plans for kids. Tabasum tells him she has already frozen her eggs… Am I the only one who thinks this is a strange question for a first date? You just met, and you’re already talking about kids? I guess older people have to talk about that immediately since their biological clocks are ticking… Tabasum says she enjoyed the date, but she tells Ken she wants to be free to see others as well.

Alex eventually does contact Tabasum again, and the two of them go out on another date. She explains that she lost time focusing on her career and not dating. She now wants that time back. Alex says he’s still interested in dating her, and he gives the trite phrase “age is just a number”. They end their date by kissing again. I think the two of them seem good together, but I don’t know if Alex is really okay with the age difference, or if he is just going along with it so he doesn’t look like a jerk on national television.

Brian

Like Tabasum, Brian is set up by Kathy Lee and Hoda from the Today Show. He goes out on a date with Jenna. During the date, Jenna calls out Brian for following the other potential date on Twitter, but not Jenna. He lies and says he couldn’t find her on Twitter. When she says her Twitter handle is just her name, he admits he never tried to look her up… I think this is the point where the date was doomed… Brian says he hasn’t dated a white woman in years. It’s interesting that he says that this week, but not last week when he went out with Kennedy, another white girl. He says he is offended by people who like pop culture. Obviously Brian is a hipster; he hates everything mainstream just because it’s mainstream. I don’t get that… Just be yourself. You may not like everything mainstream or even a lot of mainstream things, but it is impossible to naturally hate everything in mainstream pop-culture. And I take offense to him saying that he is offended by the majority of people who do like pop-culture. I personally am addicted to pop-culture. It is my life force. Furthermore, does Brian not realize that he is on a reality television show, which is itself mainstream, and he is alienating all of the viewers?... Brian and Jenna obviously do not get along, and Jenna is offended by exactly what I was just ranting about. At least Brian is honest about one thing. When a producer asks him why he thinks he’s single, he responds, “I’m single because I’m a dick.” My response to this? #AsMitchellSays Amen, sister friend!

So far Brian and Joey are the only ones who have had very little luck in their dating. Tabasum seems to like Alex. Kerry and Tripp are going strong, yet she might have screwed up by giving her number to another guy. And Ericka and Lee are now exclusively dating. I wonder what is going on this week? More drama or more success in love? I’ll definitely be tuning in next week to find out. 

Real Housewives of Melbourne (RHOMelbourne) Episode 108

After last week’s explosive and dramatic episode, this week is much tamer as we see the women deal with the fallout of the Mission Beach trip.

 

In the beginning of the episode, Lydia meets with her friend Lisa. She gives Lisa the Reader’s Digest version of the drama between Andrea and Gina. The two of them have a little snack while they’re talking, and Lydia offers some cake to Lisa, to which Lisa responds, “I haven’t eaten carbs since 1964.” Of course Lydia takes her seriously because she is incapable of detecting a joke. You would think someone who claims to have her feet “firmly planted on the ground” would be able to detect hyperbole. Lisa says she has recently taken over a huge business. So this woman is a rich, funny, strong businesswoman… Why is Lisa not part of the cast?

Next we see Andrea meeting with publishers for her book. We learn that Andrea is former journalist. Now it makes sense. As a journalist, Andrea was trained to put a slant on everything she perceives. And words don’t mean to her what they mean to us… You know, like “mother”… The publisher tells Andrea that she should try writing a blog first before writing a book. Writing a blog allows you to gain followers and readers, so when you do write a book, you have guaranteed sales. That’s how I’m doing it… But Andrea seems to think so many people will buy her book without knowing if she’s a good writer first. Unfortunately, since she was on this show, she’s probably right, but if she were a normal person not on TV, she might sell twenty copies… The one she buys for herself, and the nineteen she buys to give as crappy gifts. She says her book was written as a response to a woman who told the truth her she wasn’t a good mother. So the book is centered around and is the product of drama? I wouldn’t expect anything less of Andrea. After the meeting, Andrea seems to get the picture that no publisher will want this book, but instead of taking advice from a professional, she talks about self-publishing. Delusional much?

Jackie and Ben meet with a few people about La Mascara, a new line of cocktails they are creating together. They want to have a launch party in 4 weeks, but they are told that’s not realistic at all. There is simply too much to do in a short period of time. Jackie, however, does not take “no” for an answer, and she doesn’t like to hear about all the “negos”.  They then meet with a chemist about the actual creation and logistics of the drinks. They come in with all of these ideas they think will be great, but the chemist is all too happy to burst their bubble of creativity and inspiration. He tells them about shelf life, bottling costs, and a myriad of other technical issues they have to consider. Poor Jackie… She wants to shine shine shine, but this dose of reality has started to dim her light.

Next we see Lydia and Andrea go to lunch. What/who do they discuss? I’ll give you three guesses, and the first two don’t count… Andrea gives us the litany of grievances against Gina yet again; she wants an apology… Hold your breath until you get one, Andrea. They also discuss the grand opening party of the new Liberty Bell clinic. Last week Andrea said she would invite Gina and be the bigger person, to which Lydia responded favorably finding it admirable. This week the two of them have done a complete 180º. Either the clean air in Mission Beach allowed their humanity to come out which changed as soon as they got back to Melbourne, or the producers whispered something in Andrea’s ear to make her change her mind. I’ll let you pick your favorite theory. Lydia, who as I said was supportive of the decision to invite Gina, now says, “Why invite someone who’s horrible to you”.

Janet meets with Dr. Moss, Andrea’s husband, about her son. Last week we heard about the horrible accident that left Janet’s son badly burned on most of his body. She and Dr. Moss discuss plastic surgery reconstruction. Dr. Moss seems hopeful. Since the accident, Janet has made it her life to care for and manage her son’s recovery. I feel for Janet, and I am amazed at how she has been able to remain positive about all of it.

All of the women, save of course Gina, attend the Liberty Bell party. Andrea thanks Chyka for catering and helping with some of the design for the party. Janet throws some shade at Gina by saying that the five of them get along so well…without Gina. Lydia praises Andrea for the new plastic surgery clinic saying, “You brought LA here.” LA has apparently solidified its reputation as plastic surgery capital of the world, and I’m sure Drs. Dubrow and Nassif would be happy to hear that… The ladies are actually having a decent and real conversation, but Andrea can’t help herself. She says, “Let’s talk about Gina.” Immediately Chyka tries to shut it down. Gina isn’t there to defend herself; moreover, she wasn’t even invited to have the chance to defend herself. Andrea calls Gina “a clown”, but Chyka again defends Gina. Chyka asks Lydia about her friendship with Gina. Lydia denies being friends with Gina… Hold on… Let’s rewind to the first episode of the season. As I recall, Lydia and Gina both said during a lunch that they had been friends for quite some time. Why deny it now? Does she think she’s saving herself from being associated with bad behavior? If that’s the case, she shouldn’t get too close to Andrea… Andrea gets tired of Chyka defending Gina and says something to the extent of: You’re at my party, so you need to support me… Is that how the world works? I didn’t know that. Andrea is a fount of knowledge that is going to waste. She’s certainly not imparting it on her children.

Jackie and Ben are going out on a date night. But first Jackie needs some sexy lingerie. Lydia and Jackie go shopping where Jackie spends $4025. If you spend that much money on lingerie, it had better come with a prostitute and a happy ending… Later, on their date, Jackie and Ben go to a restaurant and order an $850 bottle of champagne. Heather Dubrow would be proud… The topic of children comes up, and Ben says that once they get the business up and running, they should have kids. He stipulates that Jackie is not to have a C-section. Jackie’s idea of a compromise is getting Bulgari bracelets and a house in Brazil in exchange for a natural birth. Seems reasonable to me… The two take a yacht trip down the Yarra, which Jackie had predicted would happen earlier when she was with Lydia. Ben gives her a pair of 5-karat diamond earrings. How much is this date costing Ben? I hope they don’t do this weekly, or even monthly.  

Later at Chyka’s event for her catering business, Gina calls her accepting the invitation to the event. Gina didn’t want Chyka to think she was associating her with the bad behavior of the others, and she wanted to support Chyka. Chyka decides to be crafty and not tell the other girls that Gina is coming. The other ladies arrive and are having a good time eating and drinking. Andrea brings up her book again. Can Andrea talk about anything other than Gina and her book? Perhaps she could talk about her husband or her kids. However, that would require her to actually know something about them, right? Andrea says the cover of her book will be a 50s inspired photo of her with her breasts hanging out talking on a cell phone and standing next to a perfect and well-groomed kid. That just screams 50s to me…

Andrea says, “I love my boobs because I breastfed 3 kids.” I guess she takes credit for that since she probably put it on a checklist for her nannies to do.

Of course the topic of Gina comes up again. Jackie says that they’ve forgiven her and she suggests having a forgiveness dinner and putting the past behind them, but Lydia and Andrea are not interested. Gina finally makes her grand entrance. The look on Andrea’s face was the first genuine thing we’ve seen from her all season. She looked physically ill and uncomfortable; however, in her interview, she says Gina is the one who looked uncomfortable. Is this more projecting from Andrea?... The ladies toast to moving forward, but for a lot of them it seemed disingenuous. Andrea’s husband shows up and greets the ladies. Apparently he was completely ignorant of the drama that happened at Mission Beach. He awkwardly asks Gina how the trip was. Gina seemed caught off guard. Once he realized Gina was acting strangely about the situation, he “stuck to the weather”. Gina excuses herself from the awkwardness, and Andrea tells her husband that she has been keeping some things from him. She says, “You’re too important to be involved in this stuff.” I call BS on this. What is really going on here? A couple generally shares what’s going on in their lives, especially when they feel someone is mistreating them. The Real Housewives franchise is notorious for having husbands get in on the drama. Are Andrea and her husband just not that close? On the balcony, the ladies toast again to moving forward. This time Gina sees through the BS and says that they’ll be moving forward to more bad behavior.

Is Gina paranoid, or does she have a valid reason for thinking this? More importantly, is she correct? We will see… Next week promises more drama, a dog party, and the La Mascara launch party. What do you predict will happen next? I’m sure some of you, like me, have an unfair advantage since you’ve already seen the whole season, but for those of you who haven’t, leave your predictions of what is to come in the comments. I’ll be back next week for the next episode’s recap.

The Singles Project Episode 1.05

Photo courtesy of Bravo

This week’s episode of The Singles Project was quite entertaining. I enjoyed it a lot, and I saw different sides of some of the singles. Let me jump right in…

Kerry

Last week we saw some sparks between Kerry and her artist, Tripp. At the beginning of this episode Kerry meets Tripp at an art studio. Making art together is always a great date, in my opinion. You’re creating something together, and you sort of have to let your guard down and express yourself freely. They made a pretty cool abstract painting, and by the end there was paint everywhere. Something tells me those paint splotches on their clothes and faces were producer engineered. They looked a little too planned to be by accident. The two of them end up kissing with paint smeared all over their faces, and Kerry ends up swallowing some…That sexual joke is too easy. I have higher standards than that… But I hope that paint was non-toxic and low-fume. I don’t think Kerry can afford to lose any more brain cells… Okay, that was mean… I must admit I actually liked Kerry more this episode. She was not as hyper and high-strung. She did make one comment that annoyed me. Tripp asked her what her favorite color was, and Kerry replied that she was older than five, and therefore she did not have a favorite color. Really? Someone over five years old can’t have a favorite color? I’m sure she was just trying to make a bitchy joke, but I think it failed. Maybe I should give her lessons…

Lee

Last week ended on somewhat of a cliffhanger for Lee. He asked out Ericka, but she did not give him an answer. This week we see him talking to his brother, who is also a dentist (that family must love teeth…). Lee tells his brother he felt miserable when he left Ericka at the party. Do you blame him? He was almost turned down; the evening ended on a sour note. But Lee is not giving up. He recalls seeing on the last episode that one of Ericka’s friends did not have a positive opinion of him and was very pro-Francesco. He decides to meet with said friend and to ask her how to get Ericka to go out on a date with him. He says that he feels a connection with Ericka, and he doesn’t feel there is a connection between Ericka and Francesco. He asks Ericka’s friend to make her feel open to the idea of dating him. She tells him to step up his game to get her attention. Lee is a very smart guy who knows how to play the dating game, and he is using the facets of the filming process to his advantage. I think by meeting with Ericka’s friend, he showed how serious he was and in effect impressed the friend.

Ericka

We see Ericka go on another date with Francesco to a fashion show. Francesco tells Ericka how upset he was at Lee for saying some untrue things about him, like that he was not actually from Italy. He is also upset that Lee asked her out while they were on a date at Kerry’s party. Ericka, quite intelligently, turns it back on Francesco. She asks: Why is a man putting this much effort into worrying about another man instead of focusing his thoughts and energy on the date? That seems to shut Francesco up… Later we see Ericka having some wine and talking with her friends about chemistry. She asks the question: Can you “build chemistry” with someone? I honestly think you can. Sometimes you can’t feel a connection or chemistry because the nervous energy gets in the way, or one person is not acting like themselves due to nerves or fears. I think you should always give people at least two or three dates before deciding if there is no chemistry. But that’s only if you like him/her. If you can’t stand his/her personality or he/she is just plain rude, then I say bolt… The wine and chat session is interrupted by a flower delivery. The flowers come with a note telling her to go downstairs. She finds a car waiting for her, and the driver takes her to her first date with Lee. The date goes very well, and I think Ericka was genuinely surprised. Lee was told to step up his game, and he certainly did.

Brian

Last week Brian had a date with Nicole, and he realized they both want different things in life. Brian comes to the realization that just because he finds a girl, like Nicole, attractive doesn’t mean he must date her. He says he’s finally growing up. Brian does not want kids, but Nicole said she did. This was obviously a deal breaker for him, but it’s better that he know now rather than later. It was during this conversation that I finally saw Brian being serious about finding a relationship. He’s not being flippant about dating. This week we also see Brian go on a date with Kennedy, a nice and pretty girl from St. Louis. He feels “solid energy” with her, and she doesn’t want to get married or have kids. Brian likes hearing that. However, Kennedy drops the bomb that she is currently in an open relationship. You could see the red flags waving in Brian’s head. He even says open relationships are somewhere between the heaven of having a relationship and the hell of being single. He ends the date saying he sees a friendship with Kennedy, not a relationship.

Tabasum

This week Tabasum goes out with a new guy, named Alex, who approached her online. Tabasum says she has gone out with one guy with looks and one guy with substance, but she’s hoping on finding a guy with both. She immediately feels comfortable with Alex, and she says she doesn’t even see the cameras anymore. Alex is a suave guy with some interesting moves, and Tabasum seems to like him. Several times at the dinner table she became a giggly young girl. It was so great to see. I also appreciated Tabasum’s restraint. She obviously likes Alex, but she controlled herself enough to leave with just a simple kiss. It’s refreshing to see a true lady. Good for you, Tabasum. Later in the episode she goes to visit her sister in Vienna, Virginia. She keeps saying that she has been lying to everyone, and that she wants to come clean. With the way it was edited and the buildup, I was expecting something huge. However, Tabasum comes clean about her age. She is actually 41, but she has been telling people she is 34. My first thought was that Tabasum looks great for her age. I completely bought that she was in her early 30s. I also realize why she chose to lie about her age. Our society is not very forgiving when it comes to age, especially for women. It seems to me that if you’re not partnered by age 35, you may as well get used to loneliness because no one will look at you twice. With that social mindset, it seems natural for a woman to lie about her age. I admire Tabasum for telling the truth, and I hope Alex is man enough not to let age bother him.

Joey

We don’t see much of Joey this week. We do see him having a glass of wine with his sister as they discuss his previous relationship. Joey’s sister says he was happy back then, and she wants him to be happy again. Joey says that after the end of his previous relationship, he has become a “hard bitch” over the past years. His sister tells him to be more open; however, as we see later in the episode, Joey is not taking this advice. We see a nice and confident guy approach Joey and tell him that he is dating the wrong type of guys. He then proceeds to ask Joey out. Joey turns him down, but he is persistent. Joey repeatedly turns him down. I have a feeling Joey was basing his decision on looks alone. I felt sorry for the guy. Joey could have gone on one date with him. A couple hours would not have killed him, and who knows what might have happened.

This week there were several instances of breaking the fourth wall. They acknowledged and made direct reference to the fact that they are on a television show and that there are cameras staring them in the face. This is a different take on the docu-drama reality show. It’s quite refreshing. We also see how different the filming style is. Since this show is filmed on a week-to-week basis, everyone on the show can watch and see what is going on. This can be a positive and a negative. This week, we saw the negative side come out when Francesco was upset over the fact that Lee asked out Ericka while Francesco was on a date with her. We saw the positive side when Lee knew whom to approach and ask for advice about how to woo Ericka. I congratulate Bravo and the creators of this show for giving us something completely new. I’m looking forward to next week’s episode.