RHOMelbourne Season 2 Episode 6

This episode begins at some sportsball event… Chyka’s company is catering part of the event, and Janet, Gamble, and Pettifleur meet her there. Apparently Gamble, being from Sydney, is representing the wrong sportsball team in Janet’s opinion, but she doesn’t want to start a fight and says, “I’m not going there…” Janet also says that things should be pleasant today since Gamble’s watchdog, Gina is not there.

We then see a phone call between Lydia and Jackie. Lydia asks Jackie what exactly happened the night of the chef’s party when she told off Gamble and Gina. At the party, Lydia seemed okay with what happened. However, she either let it fester and piss her off, or she sees an opportunity to start some drama and solidify some more airtime. Either way, Lydia is not happy with Gamble. Lydia walks up to join the other ladies, and she is drinking water, not champagne, which Janet very loudly points out. Gamble inserts her foot into her mouth, but not before she can ask if Lydia is pregnant. Lydia replies, “I wish I was, but no. Are you?... Cheers to your dogs, not babies…” I have to hand it to Lydia that was a quick and clever retort… The topic of Barbie nicknames comes up again, and Lydia refuses to accept hers. Janet says Chyka’s should be Slither Barbie since she was able to slither out of the trouble with Gamble. You can’t fault Chyka for playing the Housewives game and playing it well.

Gamble asks the other ladies about the trip to Sydney. Chyka and Lydia will not be going, and Janet’s feigned excitement is a bit too much for me. During the trip, the ladies will be going to an art gallery where Gamble apparently works/worked. Pettifleur asks Gamble about her “work” at said art gallery. She says she was just trying to find out what Gamble does for work, but Gamble seemed annoyed by the very simple and harmless question. Gamble decides to give payback and asks Pettifleur about one of her business ventures and if her husband had any part in it. Pettifleur insists that she did all of the work herself, and she knew exactly what Gamble was shadily insinuating.

Lydia tells Gamble that she needs to talk to her. Maybe for once, the ladies will not make a scene and talk privately… What am I talking about? Of course not, and thank God! We want the drama! Instead of separating themselves from the group, Lydia starts right in on Gamble, saying that she was upset that Gamble was smiling and smirking during her emotional story at the party. Gamble claims she was laughing at Rick’s face who apparently hates weddings, part of the topic of conversation… Hold on, didn’t Rick just ask Gamble to marry him? Hmm… Gamble is shocked that Lydia thought she was laughing the death of a child. Gamble does apologize, and she says she likes Lydia, but the next time Lydia starts to make a “speech”, Gamble is running for the hills… Can we get that in writing?

Janet pulls Pettifleur aside to talk to her about the Sydney trip. Janet says she is going to “enemy camp”, and she is glad Pettifleur is coming with her. Yet just five minutes ago, we witnessed Janet professing how much she can’t wait to go to Sydney. I can’t even with Janet and her fakeness… Pettifleur is tired of the Janet-Gamble saga, and I cannot agree more. Janet calls Gamble a firecracker who can go off at any minute, which is disconcerting to her… But I think Janet is just afraid that at her age she’ll wet herself from the shock. Maybe she should invest in some Depends while she is around Gamble. Someone give her Lisa Rinna’s phone number.

Gamble is packing for her Sydney trip, and she decides to pack three outfits per day. Is it safe to say that Gamble is high maintenance?... She thinks they’re going to have a great time. I don’t buy it… She knows her family is not going to treat Janet kindly. Rick says Gamble needs to get over the drama, and that women hold on to things too much; they’re too emotional… While that’s an exaggeration and a bit sexist, if certain women were not this way, we wouldn’t have the Real Housewives. And my life would be less complete…

Jackie and Chyka meet to talk about throwing Gamble a “hen’s party”, which I assume is the Australian term for a “bachelorette party”. Jackie wants to bring strippers to the party, a staple of a bachelorette party. Chyka is afraid it may offend Gamble by bringing to the surface the stripper rumor again, plus she thinks it’s not classy. But Jackie claims that a stripper who shakes his ass, not his cock, is classy…

Gina, Janet, and Pettifleur meet Gamble at a hotel room in Sydney. They are getting ready to go to an art gallery party for Charles Billich. Pettifleur recites a litany of facts about the artist, and Gina jokingly asks if Pettifleur Googled him. Pettifleur says she knows how to do her research, and she seems a little insulted by Gina’s question… Gina says Janet has come a long way with Gamble, but she thinks it’s just a poker face, but she doesn’t know if it’s a natural talent or a cosmetic one…

The ladies go to the art gallery party where they make idle chit-chat with the artist and various socialites. Gamble introduces the girls to her sister, Tempest (an apt name for what is coming…). Tempest is calmly talking about some plastic surgery that she is planning to have done, and then out of nowhere, she starts attacking Janet about the “lies” she “made up” about Gamble. She tells Janet to get some evidence if she is going to say such things. Janet sees that Gamble has told everyone that she was the one who made up the rumors. Janet walks out; she says she doesn’t want to be attacked every time she sees Gamble. Gamble chases Janet out of the gallery to bring her back in, but why? Gamble just stood there while Gamble’s sister was awkwardly tearing into Janet. Gamble should have stopped it… Gina sees Gamble running out and chases both of them down the street. Janet refuses to come back… Back at the gallery, Pettifleur is talking to Tempest and is trying to explain what really happened between Janet and Gamble, but Tempest starts getting nasty with Pettifleur.

Gina and Gamble return to the gallery, and Gina calls Janet to make sure she made it back to the hotel. Gamble makes chicken noises in the background like an immature twelve year old. Gina is being the voice of reason; she seems to be taking up for Janet by telling things like they are/were.

Jackie, Lydia, and Chyka, the three ladies who did not go to Sydney, meet to play croquet and have a picnic in the park. Janet had called and told them the whole story. All three of them assert that Gamble should have stopped her sister from attacking Janet.

The ladies in Sydney go on a boat ride in the harbor, but Janet decides not to go, probably because Gamble’s sister, Tempest, was there. I don’t blame her for that… Gamble says she wishes Janet were there because she wanted everyone to have a good time in her home city, even though less than 24 hours previously Gamble was clucking at Janet over voicemail… Gamble says she should have stopped her sister from attacking Janet, and that she will apologize.

Chyka teaches her son to fry chicken cutlets. Her family is always fun to watch. They are real people not putting on airs. It’s rather refreshing.

Janet decides to lady-up and attend the last dinner in Sydney. Gamble does apologize as soon as she sees Janet. The two of them continue to talk as they sit down at the table. Gina butts into the conversation, and Janet asks her not to; however, it’s not a private conversation. They’re at a dinner table talking in front of everyone. Janet links what she did to Gamble to what Gina did to Lydia in the limo during the first episode bringing up the rumor of Lydia and her husband separating. Gina admits she sees where Janet is coming from. Pettifleur then butts in telling Gina to stop defending Gamble blindly. If Pettifleur were a judge, she says she would go after facts. Since Janet is already arguing with Gina, she then brings up the story that Gina was telling about her flirting with Rick. Gina says that she embellished the story a bit, but we all saw it… It seemed a little flirtatious to me… Gina says she doesn’t gossip, and Janet finds that amusing. Janet proposes they have a pact; the story of the Gamble rumors it is not to be brought up again. They all agree and shake on it… However, they seem to be forgetting there is a little event called the reunion where they discuss everything that happened during the season; they HAVE to talk about it again… Janet looks to be on the verge of tears, and Gina says to her that she has the same type of relationship with her that she has with her partner. It’s tumultuous but long lasting.

Pettifleur says she’s a diamond expert and asks where Gamble’s engagement ring is. Apparently Pettifleur is an expert in everything, even a nickname expert. If that’s the case, why didn’t Gamble consult her before coming up with the Barbie names?... The ladies laugh and roll their eyes at Pettifleur. Gina admits that people often tend to talk over Pettifleur. Gina says Pettifleur is highly strung, and she doesn’t see a friendship between them… It looks like trouble is brewing between these two, and from the preview of the next episode, I’m right… 

RHOMelbourne Season 2 Episode 5

They tried to make us think at the end of last episode that the Janet and Gamble thing was over… Who else is calling “BS”?...

At the beginning of this episode, Pettifleur takes her son Nathan out shopping for a suit. She says the two of them have a great relationship because he listens to everything she says. For his sake, I hope that is false. I am imagining Nathan flipping his inner bitch, and I would imagine that would be confusing for a straight guy… We know how Pettifleur treats sales associates, so I was not shocked when she asked the salesman to give them the tie he was wearing. He of course obliges, but it was a beautiful tie, so I assume he did so under mental duress.

Gina brings Gamble to a fashion event. Gamble says to the cameras that she’s in love, but Gina does not seem to share that sentiment. Gina calls Gamble “a fan”. I must admit I almost choked with laughter at the juxtaposition of these two statements… During the event, Gina presents a dress that she is donating for auction. Gamble puts a bid in for it, but as soon as the price starts to climb, she stops bidding. For once Gamble is not taking advantage of an opportunity to show out for the cameras. Could it be a money issue? It is only now occurring to me considering what comes up later in the episode… The final bid for the dress is made by a gay couple. I wonder what they’re going to do with that dress… Gamble takes the chance to thank Gina for her help with Janet. During her interview, Gina says she is disappointed that Chyka is yet again fence sitting, which Gina claims she did last season as well.

Jackie brings Janet to something called “Cougar Speed Dating”… I guess “The Living Dead Speed Dating” was all booked up… Janet meets some real gems including one who wants to be a “kept man”. The whole time Jackie is standing in the corner telling some poor bystander about her psychic vibes she’s getting from the guys sitting with Janet. Even after meeting all of the guys and claiming that they were all wonderful, Janet decides she doesn’t need a man to complete her.

Later, Pettifleur and Jackie meet for drinks. Jackie gives her a brief recap of what’s going on between Janet and Gamble. Chyka walks in and Pettifleur asks for her input. Pettifleur also claims she has heard that Gamble has been talking badly about her. Jackie and Chyka seem not to know what she is talking about. But eventually they do say that Gamble has called her “nouveau riche”, which they, nor I, think is exactly an insult.

Jackie and Ben are looking for a model to be the face for the La Mascara brand. Jackie says she wants to give someone a shot who might not normally get one. She wants someone with a great personality. As they look at model photos, Jackie can feel their personalities and energies through the photos, which helps the elimination process go quicker. She comes across a male model whom she adores, but Ben refuses to allow a male model to have the job. Jackie says she has the final word, and when she meets the right person, she will instantly feel it.

At Chyka’s chef’s dinner Lydia shows up with a friend, not her husband… Didn’t Gina say during the first episode of the season that there was some rumor that Lydia and her husband were having problems? Curious… The first thing that Janet passive-aggressively says to Gamble is that she’s not flirting with Rick, as she had been accused of before. Chyka’s chef seems to know what he is doing. He is using very showy and modern cooking techniques. He uses liquid nitrogen to freeze meringue and he puts soup in test tubes. It looked interesting. I would eat at his restaurant.

During dinner Lydia begins sharing a sappy moment about her son and his marriage. She started to get emotional about it. Jackie catches Gamble snickering and smirking while Lydia is practically crying, and she calls her out. Gina jumps to her defense and says Gamble was sharing a private moment with her man. In her interview, Gamble admits that she’s physically scared of Jackie… Lydia also shares that she views her son in an extra special way since she lost a child at birth when she was 21. I’m 27, and I can’t imagine going through that at my age, much less at 21. My heart broke for Lydia in that moment… But then I realized my cold heart couldn’t handle that, so I moved on…

Jackie asks Gina how she likes her new living quarters. Gina says she feels it’s a bit haunted. Jackie tells her to sage the place and usher out the bad energy. Gina says if she were haunting a house, she would laugh at someone using sage. She simply doesn’t believe in that kind of stuff. But on a side note, if Gina were a ghost, I hope she would haunt Andrea’s house and constantly leave the bathroom a mess complete with makeup stained towels everywhere…

Gamble apparently has Barbie nicknames for the ladies, and Lydia asks what hers is. Gamble tells her it is “S&M Barbie”. Lydia pretends not to know what that means… Yeah right, Lydia. Yeah right… Pettifleur also asks what hers is, and she is told  “Nouveau Riche Barbie”. Pettifleur starts asking about Gamble’s money and where it came from. Gamble says that “nouveau riche” is not meant as a derogatory term, and that everyone in Sydney, where she is from, is nouveau riche. Then she says that she is from old money. Her father was apparently a successful artist… Hold on… First of all, if everyone in Sydney is nouveau riche, then how is her family “old money”? Also, I would hardly consider money from one prior generation to be “old money”. It seems that she doesn’t want to be labeled “nouveau riche” even though it is “not an insult”… Gamble then says that she has heard that Pettifleur didn’t like her handbag and was talking crap about it. So that’s the only reason she called her “nouveau riche”? To get back at her? She wanted to give a dig for her handbag’s sake… Also, why is Gamble getting so annoyed at Pettifleur for supposedly talking behind her back? Didn’t she ask Janet to do that rather than insult her to her face?... I was highly confused about this whole conversation. Gamble is making absolutely no sense. Gamble also said she heard that Pettifleur was calling her “stupid”. Pettifleur asks her, “Are you?” Gamble responds saying that she has “moments of stupidity”. And Pettifleur retorts with, “Well I don’t…” Another moment of choking laughter. I have to remember not to drink wine while watching this…

After Gamble gets it from Pettifleur, she returns to her seat, and Janet starts in on her. Janet asks Gamble if she really thought she was flirting with Rick. Gamble didn’t really answer the question but opts instead to jump back into the fight that they had buried. Gamble starts getting worked up, but Janet remains calm. Janet claims the reason Gamble was getting upset was because Rick was present, and Gamble had probably told him an exaggerated version of the truth. Janet tries to tell her side of the story, and Gamble keeps butting in getting more and more upset. Rick goes into grandfather fiancé mode and starts chastising her. Gamble says she wants to go home, but Chyka and Rick talk her into staying…

Later Janet meets with Pettifleur to talk about the dinner. Janet says she wonders if Gamble told Rick the real story. Janet also starts talking about Gamble’s money saying that she has none, while she’s pretending to be old money. Pettifleur says she doesn’t know why Gina and Gamble are friends. Janet says that Gina has a reason; everything is very planned when it comes to Gina. So Janet is suggesting that Gina is using Gamble strategically. I hope that is the case; I can’t stand Gamble, and I don’t see how Gina can put up with her idiocy… Janet says if Gina sees a way to “smash” her, she’ll take it.

Chyka and Gamble bring their dogs out to a park. Gamble’s dog starts awkwardly humping Chyka’s dog… Gamble says that Chyka’s dogs are spoiled and that they aren’t show dogs. Am I living in a parallel universe? Neither is Gamble’s!... Didn’t we just see Gamble with a dog trainer? Her dog would do nothing it was told, and we found out that she treats it like a human child! I have to borrow a line from Sarah Winchester… “Is this the world we live in?”… The two ladies talk about the dinner party. Gamble feels no one gets her, so she wants to invite them all to Sydney to see her family… What could possibly go wrong?

RHOMelbourne Season 2 Episode 4

As the last episode concluded, Gina said she would talk to Janet for Gamble. So at the beginning of this episode, we see Janet walking into the restaurant to meet Gina. She seems to think this is going to be a friendly meeting, but she has no idea… During their conversation, Janet insists that Chyka started everything, and that Chyka was talking about the same sexual rumors that Janet brought up. Gina warns Janet that Gamble might take legal action, and she says she doesn’t like how Janet is treating her new friend. Janet says in her interview that she doesn’t believe that Gina truly cares about Gamble. Naïve Janet seems to have had enough, and she walks out mumbling about a deck of cards, clearly making fun of what Gina cleverly told Andrea last season…

After three and a half episodes, my long wait is over. I was wondering when I would see Chyka’s gorgeous husband Bruce, and finally he appears. Chyka and Bruce are planning a racing carnival, but that’s all I recall… The conversation that was taking place was rather boring, and I was too busy looking at Bruce…

Janet and Jackie go shopping for an appropriate golfing outfit. Apparently, there are many rules concerning the attire on the golf course, and Jackie is not happy about it. No denim? Come on… Jackie asks who is coming to the golf course, and Janet tells her about having coffee with Gina. Then the strangest thing starts to happen… Janet pretends to cry… I assume she is pretending because I don’t think Janet’s body, at its age, is capable of producing moisture anymore… Janet says that Gina told her she should have lied about the rumors she had heard about Gamble… Excuse me? I don’t remember Gina saying any such thing… Janet says she intends to put the Gamble issue to bed.

Gina has a photoshoot for some publicity shots, the products of which we have been seeing on Twitter recently. I recognize the fabulous red dress. The photographer apparently works for Playboy, which becomes evident as he flirts shamelessly with Gina. But I don’t blame him. Gina looked hot, but the whole part of her posing on the car was a bit uncomfortable…

Jackie and Ben have dinner with Chyka and Bruce at one of their pop-up restaurants. Jackie says she has to talk to Chyka about Janet; it seems she wants to hear Chyka’s side of the story. Chyka still insists that she was only talking about what was said in the papers, but that Janet brought it to another level with the sexual rumors. They also seem to think that Janet wouldn’t flirt with Gamble’s husband Rick because Janet prefers younger men, but would that necessarily put Rick out of the running? He’s not “young”, but he’s probably younger than Janet.

The day of the golf game has arrived, and Gamble says she doesn’t want to feel beaten, so she decides to join them in golfing. I have a feeling she was pressured into going, however… Chyka and Gamble are the first to arrive at the golf course, and Chyka apologizes for starting the conversation about the rumors. She says she didn’t know that Janet was going to take it that far. I think Chyka knew more than she is letting on, but she’s being smart and strategic about it. I can’t blame her; I would do the same… Gina shows up at the golf course in pumps and a dress… I’m having tennis flashbacks from last season… She says she has a TV appearance after the golf game is over. Janet says it will be hilarious to watch Gina try to golf in a dress… So this time Janet is fine with the attire, but last season she found it to be ridiculous… On the other hand, Janet says Gamble was pushing the dress code with her short shorts. I don’t know what the big deal was. I’ve seen shorter shorts. At least it wasn’t Pettifleur who we know likes to go commando…

I must take a moment to bring up Gina walking in flat shoes… She walked on her toes like a ballerina, as if she were still wearing heels. It’s as if her feet are permanently locked into that position. What does she wear around her house? I assume pumps… Gamble can’t seem to figure out the golf cart… I cannot begin to tell you how shocked that made me… They begin to “golf”… I put that word in quotation marks because I don’t think many people would or could call what these women are doing “golf”. They were better at driving the golf carts, and that’s saying a lot. Maybe they should stick to the gossiping. They’re better suited to that sport.

After what seemed to be a fun day of poor golfing, you know there was going to be some fighting… Jackie, the peacemaker, says that neither she nor Gina were present for the actual lunch where all of the drama started, and, therefore, they should stay out of it. She suggests that the three (Gamble, Janet, and Chyka) should talk about it. Once again, in her interview, Janet claims that Chyka is to blame, yet somehow Chyka has “slithered” out of responsibility…

Toward the end of the argument, we hear something that I have never heard on reality tv before. Gamble says that if one ever hears anything about her, talk about it behind her back; don’t say it to her face… Of course, this is logically how the world works, but no one ever says that. Housewives tend to say the opposite, even though they don’t really mean it. They are always yapping about how they want everything to be said to their Botox-ridden faces; however, even if that happens fighting and drama ensues. It’s a lose-lose situation for the housewives, but it’s a win-win situation for us as viewers…

Gamble and Janet eventually hug it out, and Gamble says that she hasn’t acted that way since kindergarten… But I have a feeling things won’t stay this way for long.

Chyka then invites the ladies to a dinner, and she is somewhat secretive of the details. She says she is confident the ladies will be fine, but at the same time she is only cautiously optimistic. Chyka’s a smart lady…