Thursday, April 9, 2015

RHOMelbourne Season 2 Episode 5


They tried to make us think at the end of last episode that the Janet and Gamble thing was over… Who else is calling “BS”?...

At the beginning of this episode, Pettifleur takes her son Nathan out shopping for a suit. She says the two of them have a great relationship because he listens to everything she says. For his sake, I hope that is false. I am imagining Nathan flipping his inner bitch, and I would imagine that would be confusing for a straight guy… We know how Pettifleur treats sales associates, so I was not shocked when she asked the salesman to give them the tie he was wearing. He of course obliges, but it was a beautiful tie, so I assume he did so under mental duress.

Gina brings Gamble to a fashion event. Gamble says to the cameras that she’s in love, but Gina does not seem to share that sentiment. Gina calls Gamble “a fan”. I must admit I almost choked with laughter at the juxtaposition of these two statements… During the event, Gina presents a dress that she is donating for auction. Gamble puts a bid in for it, but as soon as the price starts to climb, she stops bidding. For once Gamble is not taking advantage of an opportunity to show out for the cameras. Could it be a money issue? It is only now occurring to me considering what comes up later in the episode… The final bid for the dress is made by a gay couple. I wonder what they’re going to do with that dress… Gamble takes the chance to thank Gina for her help with Janet. During her interview, Gina says she is disappointed that Chyka is yet again fence sitting, which Gina claims she did last season as well.

Jackie brings Janet to something called “Cougar Speed Dating”… I guess “The Living Dead Speed Dating” was all booked up… Janet meets some real gems including one who wants to be a “kept man”. The whole time Jackie is standing in the corner telling some poor bystander about her psychic vibes she’s getting from the guys sitting with Janet. Even after meeting all of the guys and claiming that they were all wonderful, Janet decides she doesn’t need a man to complete her.

Later, Pettifleur and Jackie meet for drinks. Jackie gives her a brief recap of what’s going on between Janet and Gamble. Chyka walks in and Pettifleur asks for her input. Pettifleur also claims she has heard that Gamble has been talking badly about her. Jackie and Chyka seem not to know what she is talking about. But eventually they do say that Gamble has called her “nouveau riche”, which they, nor I, think is exactly an insult.

Jackie and Ben are looking for a model to be the face for the La Mascara brand. Jackie says she wants to give someone a shot who might not normally get one. She wants someone with a great personality. As they look at model photos, Jackie can feel their personalities and energies through the photos, which helps the elimination process go quicker. She comes across a male model whom she adores, but Ben refuses to allow a male model to have the job. Jackie says she has the final word, and when she meets the right person, she will instantly feel it.

At Chyka’s chef’s dinner Lydia shows up with a friend, not her husband… Didn’t Gina say during the first episode of the season that there was some rumor that Lydia and her husband were having problems? Curious… The first thing that Janet passive-aggressively says to Gamble is that she’s not flirting with Rick, as she had been accused of before. Chyka’s chef seems to know what he is doing. He is using very showy and modern cooking techniques. He uses liquid nitrogen to freeze meringue and he puts soup in test tubes. It looked interesting. I would eat at his restaurant.

During dinner Lydia begins sharing a sappy moment about her son and his marriage. She started to get emotional about it. Jackie catches Gamble snickering and smirking while Lydia is practically crying, and she calls her out. Gina jumps to her defense and says Gamble was sharing a private moment with her man. In her interview, Gamble admits that she’s physically scared of Jackie… Lydia also shares that she views her son in an extra special way since she lost a child at birth when she was 21. I’m 27, and I can’t imagine going through that at my age, much less at 21. My heart broke for Lydia in that moment… But then I realized my cold heart couldn’t handle that, so I moved on…

Jackie asks Gina how she likes her new living quarters. Gina says she feels it’s a bit haunted. Jackie tells her to sage the place and usher out the bad energy. Gina says if she were haunting a house, she would laugh at someone using sage. She simply doesn’t believe in that kind of stuff. But on a side note, if Gina were a ghost, I hope she would haunt Andrea’s house and constantly leave the bathroom a mess complete with makeup stained towels everywhere…

Gamble apparently has Barbie nicknames for the ladies, and Lydia asks what hers is. Gamble tells her it is “S&M Barbie”. Lydia pretends not to know what that means… Yeah right, Lydia. Yeah right… Pettifleur also asks what hers is, and she is told  “Nouveau Riche Barbie”. Pettifleur starts asking about Gamble’s money and where it came from. Gamble says that “nouveau riche” is not meant as a derogatory term, and that everyone in Sydney, where she is from, is nouveau riche. Then she says that she is from old money. Her father was apparently a successful artist… Hold on… First of all, if everyone in Sydney is nouveau riche, then how is her family “old money”? Also, I would hardly consider money from one prior generation to be “old money”. It seems that she doesn’t want to be labeled “nouveau riche” even though it is “not an insult”… Gamble then says that she has heard that Pettifleur didn’t like her handbag and was talking crap about it. So that’s the only reason she called her “nouveau riche”? To get back at her? She wanted to give a dig for her handbag’s sake… Also, why is Gamble getting so annoyed at Pettifleur for supposedly talking behind her back? Didn’t she ask Janet to do that rather than insult her to her face?... I was highly confused about this whole conversation. Gamble is making absolutely no sense. Gamble also said she heard that Pettifleur was calling her “stupid”. Pettifleur asks her, “Are you?” Gamble responds saying that she has “moments of stupidity”. And Pettifleur retorts with, “Well I don’t…” Another moment of choking laughter. I have to remember not to drink wine while watching this…

After Gamble gets it from Pettifleur, she returns to her seat, and Janet starts in on her. Janet asks Gamble if she really thought she was flirting with Rick. Gamble didn’t really answer the question but opts instead to jump back into the fight that they had buried. Gamble starts getting worked up, but Janet remains calm. Janet claims the reason Gamble was getting upset was because Rick was present, and Gamble had probably told him an exaggerated version of the truth. Janet tries to tell her side of the story, and Gamble keeps butting in getting more and more upset. Rick goes into grandfather fiancé mode and starts chastising her. Gamble says she wants to go home, but Chyka and Rick talk her into staying…

Later Janet meets with Pettifleur to talk about the dinner. Janet says she wonders if Gamble told Rick the real story. Janet also starts talking about Gamble’s money saying that she has none, while she’s pretending to be old money. Pettifleur says she doesn’t know why Gina and Gamble are friends. Janet says that Gina has a reason; everything is very planned when it comes to Gina. So Janet is suggesting that Gina is using Gamble strategically. I hope that is the case; I can’t stand Gamble, and I don’t see how Gina can put up with her idiocy… Janet says if Gina sees a way to “smash” her, she’ll take it.

Chyka and Gamble bring their dogs out to a park. Gamble’s dog starts awkwardly humping Chyka’s dog… Gamble says that Chyka’s dogs are spoiled and that they aren’t show dogs. Am I living in a parallel universe? Neither is Gamble’s!... Didn’t we just see Gamble with a dog trainer? Her dog would do nothing it was told, and we found out that she treats it like a human child! I have to borrow a line from Sarah Winchester… “Is this the world we live in?”… The two ladies talk about the dinner party. Gamble feels no one gets her, so she wants to invite them all to Sydney to see her family… What could possibly go wrong?

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