RHOC Season 10 Episode 5

This blog post is dedicated to the beautiful Joanne Steinmetz and her daughter Vicki Gunvalson.

As we learned last week, Meghan is moving again. This time she is moving into a rental house while they search for a house they want to buy. Meghan says that Jim doesn’t help much each time they move. She has to do the work herself… As she is saying this, the editors cleverly overlay scenes of Jim actually helping. Meghan was not properly prepared for being on a reality show. It’s never a good idea to say something that with the use of editor-placed footage can be proven wrong… Meghan tells us she is moving into Shannon’s neighborhood. Oh I’m sure that is joyful news to Shannon…

Like a classy woman, Shannon calls Meghan to congratulate her on her successful charity party and to invite her to a Bunco party at her house. Meghan, being quite aggressive and not so classy, says she is confused considering how Shannon acted when Meghan called her out of the blue… Shannon doesn’t just take the aggressiveness. She tells Meghan she is extending an olive branch, and Shannon promises she will not cause any trouble if Meghan comes to the party. Meghan makes a snide remark about Shannon needing to prove it. Shannon’s look of disbelief echoes my sentiments exactly. Who says that to someone else?... Meghan doesn’t accept the invitation immediately, but she says she will get back to Shannon.

Next we see Tamra and Vicki relaxing at the spa. They are talking about being a grandmother. Vicki thinks becoming a grandmother will soften Tamra, but Tamra informs us that she will not start wearing granny panties, as if that were even questioned. They have a spa treatment where they have to smear some fluffy cream all over their bodies and then shower it off… Sounds like a regular shower to me… Vicki gets up off the table to go toward the shower, and we get a visual of Vicki’s ass… It looked surprisingly perky.

Heather brings her kids to a fancy salon to get haircuts. She seems to be expecting Terry to show up. However, again, he is absent. Heather says the kids rarely get to see their father because he is so busy with work and filming the other TV show Botched.

The next scene was a little surprising to me. Shannon is clearly aggravated at Meghan’s comments during their phone call earlier, so Shannon calls her back. Shannon says that the statement about “proving” herself was sitting wrong with her. I didn’t expect Shannon to let Meghan’s BS to get to her. The two of them have a short and unproductive exchange, and it seems that Meghan will be attending the Bunco party.  

Because of Brooks’ cancer, he and Vicki meet with a health coach who is suggesting a very radical diet and activity regime. We are told that Brooks just finished his third round of chemo, but the doctors are not seeing the progress they would like to see. In an act of solidarity and support, Vicki has decided to do the diet with Brooks… well everything except the coffee enemas…

Instead of hiring a chef or caterer, like many of the other housewives would have, Shannon is actually cooking for her Bunco party. David walks into the kitchen and says that he ran into a “girl from the beach”. Shannon’s mind immediately goes to the woman he had his affair with. You can see her face sink, as her stomach must have been doing somersaults inside her. But then she realizes he was talking about someone else completely. Shannon says that David has promised he will never acknowledge that woman if he ever sees her again. For the next few minutes, Shannon is visibly shaken. She talks to her friend about what just happened in hopes of calming herself down. She says she is trying her hardest not to bring up the affair to David because he fears Shannon will never get past it. It’s also probably not healthy for their relationship if she keeps bringing it up. It seems that they are at a very delicate place in their relationship, and I’m not sure if being on a reality television show is the best idea for them right now. There is no privacy and their lives are under a microscope.

Meghan is now moving into their temporary rental house. With every statement I am seeing Meghan as a living contradiction. In fact she is reminding me of Kelly Bensimone (playing against Shannon’s Bethenny…) Meghan says that she and Jim are in a true partnership. She goes on to say that she bought the last house…at least she put her name on it. So she didn’t pay for it, she just picked it out and put her name on the deed? Furthermore, didn’t she just say at the beginning of the episode that Jim never helps in the moving process? How is that an equal partnership?

Heather visits Terry at his office. She seems to think that Terry’s success on Botched is going to his head slightly, but she’s obviously proud of him. As part of his show, Heather is having a growth removed from her hand. My guess is she exercised the muscle in her hand too much popping champagne bottles…

Meghan decides to go to the Bunco party. She says she will look like the asshole if she doesn’t accept the olive branch… I think that ship has sailed, Meghan… Of course she is awkwardly the first one to arrive to Shannon’s house. Shannon gives her the wine that was meant for the charity, and Meghan calls it a jab, as if it is an act of showmanship in being the “bigger person”. Even if that is true, she should graciously accept the gift considering it is for charity.

The other ladies start to show up for the party. Tamra wants to start showing houses to Meghan and Jim since she has kept her real-estate license current… Meghan gives Shannon a candle with some stupid kind note about moving forward. Shannon thinks it’s just for show. Considering Meghan waited to give the gift until everyone else was there instead of when she first arrived and she and Shannon were alone, I am inclined to agree… Meghan says she could walk to Shannon’s house from her new rental. Shannon asks “Really?”, and the look of concern and horror on her face made me laugh out loud.

Meghan tells the other women that she is alone a lot; Jim is not home 50% of the time. Vicki says that is a red flag to a failed marriage. I think she learned that lesson the hard way with Don… They are about to start playing Bunco, and Shannon explains the rules to Meghan. Meghan calls Bunco an old person’s game; however, she seems to be getting into it.

Among the excitement of the party, Vicki excuses herself to go take a phone call in the other room. Although it was not shown, I assumed that Shannon does not get very good cell reception in her house, and Vicki was getting phone calls from Brianna. So Vicki went to use Shannon’s landline. Vicki at first seems concerned that she doesn’t know what Brianna is saying, probably due to her crying. Vicki then breaks down in tears and collapses onto the floor. We find out that Vicki’s brother, Billy, found their mother unresponsive in her bed. Shannon walks into the room and asks what happened. Vicki tells her, and Shannon embraces Vicki, as only a true friend could. Some of the other women come in and hear what has happened. A distraught Heather calls Brooks to come pick up Vicki and take her home.

I have to say that I bawled for about 20 minutes as I watched Vicki break down on my television screen. I know it may sound silly to some people, but Vicki has been part of my life for ten years. I, like many of you, view her as a friend, someone we care deeply for. So when tragedy hits her life, we feel it personally. I know Vicki probably struggled with the decision to allow them to air this on the show. But in the end, I think Vicki made the right choice. As I said before, I feel like I know Vicki personally, and her mother, Joanne, has been shown on the show for years. I think Vicki wanted to share this raw and vulnerable moment with us, and I am very glad she did. If you are reading this, Vicki, please know that your fans out there love and support you. You will get through this because your mother may be physically gone, but she will never die. She lives on in you, your brother, your beautiful children, and wonderful grandchildren.

Over the years, we have seen Joanne give Vicki a hard time about her hair color and her different California lifestyle. We have seen her tell amusing stories and laugh as she stuffed money into her bosom. And of course, we have seen the love she has for Vicki and her family. The final montage of scenes of Vicki and her mom that the editors and producers put together was truly beautiful, and I appreciated it very much.

RHOC Season 10 Episode 4

This week’s episode was like an inverse sandwich. All of the excitement and interesting parts were at the beginning and end with a lot of boring filler in the middle… So my blog might be the same… See how I pass the blame? I could totally be a Real Housewife.

This week we begin where we left off from last week… Shannon leaves the room after being attacked by Meghan out of nowhere about how Meghan was pretending to be hurt after a harmless phone call between the two ladies… Heather goes after Shannon to check on her and try to calm her down, and Shannon seems very appreciative. However, I find this very interesting since Meghan was billed as starting out the show as Heather’s friend. If that were the case, wouldn’t we expect Heather to talk to Meghan first, especially considering Heather and Shannon’s past? Clearly, Heather is not as close to Meghan as the producers and editors want us to believe… Lizzie and Tamra stay behind to talk to Meghan about what just happened. Several of the women say they don’t understand why this conversation blew up into something so heated, but they really don’t know the whole story. They only know what the have been told and how it appears. I think once they view the footage and see what the viewers have seen, they are more likely to understand what happened.

Shannon then sits down on the sofa with Tamra, Lizzie, and Katie. Shannon says she doesn’t want to talk about what has just occurred, and Katie lets her know that if she ever does, she is there… As Katie is saying this, Meghan walks back in for round 2…She starts off demure and apologetic… At this, things immediately clicked for me. Meghan is being extremely manipulative. When she and Shannon were talking one-on-one, Meghan was being very passive-aggressive and insinuating somewhat character-hurting things about Shannon; however, as soon as the other ladies are present, she acts innocent like she didn’t want the explosion and drama. In reality, that’s exactly what she was trying to get. She wants a storyline.

Shannon then tries to defend herself and says, “I bend over backwards for my friends.” Meghan responds, “You didn’t give that impression…You didn’t even respond to my text message…” First of all, did Meghan not see that the other ladies were still sitting there? For the double act to work, you have to play nice in front of the others the whole time… Maybe she is as dumb as I originally thought… Second, Shannon used the word “friend”; she does things for her “friends”. Meghan is not Shannon’s friend! They have spent probably 24 hours together at this point, and part of that time Meghan was insinuating that David was flirting with her a year ago. Needless to say, I would not expect for Shannon to consider Meghan a “friend” any time soon.

Meghan continues on with the victim routine about how offended she was. Then it seems that Shannon calls her out for lying about how she got Shannon’s private number, but that part of the discussion doesn’t really go anywhere. So where did Meghan get that personal number? Bravo producers perhaps for some planted drama? I don’t want to go off on a conspiracy theory, but if you want my theory, let me know… Then Meghan launches into a personal attack of how Shannon isn’t so important to need a personal number. Shannon tries to disengage, but Meghan demands she look her in the face… Shannon does eventually give an apology, probably to stop the argument and to shut Meghan up, but Meghan calls the apology “not genuine”. I’m surprised she was smart enough to pick up on that…

Vicki is back from her trip to Florida. Part of the trip was for an award, and the other part was spent with her family. She tells us she wanted Brooks to be there, but she does not press the issue in order to keep the peace. It is really sad to see this situation and how Vicki is torn in two by it, but at the same time, I’ve been in Briana’s position. I didn’t like or trust someone my friend was dating, so I refused to be around him, and I didn’t even have to worry about my kids being involved in the situation… Apparently as part of Brook’s cancer treatment, someone has prescribed him coffee enemas… Not only does that seem like an odd cancer treatment, but also I really did not need to picture Vicki squirting hot coffee… You know what? I’m gonna shield you from that image… I’ll stop right there.

Next we meet Meghan’s assistant, Melissa, who, like some typical assistants, cooks and cleans… and keeps secrets?…  What does that even mean? What kind of secrets would she be keeping? I hope she has signed a confidentiality agreement… The charity event planners stop by to go over some party details. Meghan tells them some story of how she has to move here and there and everywhere, and, quite shockingly, the event planners seem not to care…

Heather meets with her builders, and they are having more budget problems. I cannot say that I am surprised considering the size of that house. I imagine it is difficult to gauge pricing correctly when you have so much labor and materials. Heather says she never wanted that big of a house; Terry did. However, she is stuck doing most of the house related work and making the decisions because Terry is not there to help; he is working to pay for that big house. I can understand why Heather is frustrated, but she also understands and is willing to do the work for him to have his dream house.

Vicki and Tamra meet at a restaurant, and they start talking about grandkids. I hated this part, and it’s not because I loathe children. It’s because they are making me feel so old! Both Ryan and Briana were so young when we first saw them on the show. The fact that they are having kids of their own is too much for me… Shannon joins them for dinner, and she proceeds to tell them her side of the Meghan story. She says that the party she planned and hosted for the charity was a completely different type of party than the one Meghan is hosting. Vicki and Tamra inform her that they had been invited to the event earlier that day, but Shannon has not yet been invited. We then see a flashback of the phone conversation between Tamra and Meghan. Tamra asks Meghan straight up if Shannon will be invited. Meghan says she doesn’t want to be mean, but she feels Shannon has excluded herself, and she doesn’t want Shannon to have another blowup at her charity event. This is complete BS. The only reason Shannon got upset in the first place was because of Meghan. If Meghan doesn’t start anything, there would be no issue. As the saying goes, “Don’t start none, won’t be none…” Tamra tells Shannon that Meghan has no intention of inviting her. Shannon is extremely surprised, and she says she already bought a dress and wine to donate for the event. In a move of solidarity, Vicki says she’s not going to the event if Shannon isn’t invited.

Heather visits Meghan a few hours before the event is to start. In a last ditch effort to save Meghan from the can of worms she is about to open, Heather warns her that not inviting Shannon might be a bad idea with dire consequences. Meghan claims she has thought it through, and she is sticking by her convictions not to invite Shannon. She probably has thought it through. She knows it will get her involved in the drama, but she is naïve if she thinks it’s going to be something she can handle, especially if all of the other ladies side with Shannon.

Vicki calls Meghan to tell her that she will not be coming to the event. She says she will still donate her wine and money for the charity, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of an argument. Vicki tells Meghan that Shannon expected to be invited, but since she was not, Vicki is taking her out for dinner instead. Meghan is confused that Shannon assumed she was invited, but in reality, Shannon should have expected an invitation. They are part of an ensemble cast of a reality show and it was a charity event, both valid reasons to assume an invitation would be extended.

At the event, Meghan is surprised to see that Tamra showed up. She thought Tamra might follow Vicki’s lead and not come. Tamra tells Meghan that she has no issue with her, so she has no problem showing up. Meghan says she doesn’t want to be called “the mean girl”, again trying to turn the situation around and play victim. However, Tamra seems to feel that “mean girl” status is exactly where Meghan is headed, although she doesn’t say it overtly.

Vicki and Shannon meet for dinner. Shannon feels Meghan is being malicious for not inviting her, and Vicki agrees. This is juxtaposed with Meghan giving a speech at her event about how it was all for the charity…yet by not inviting someone who would have donated readily to the charity just to make a storyline for yourself, Meghan has not made it all about the charity; she has made it all about Meghan.  

During the event, Heather and Tamra sneak off to talk about the situation. They feel that Vicki is putting herself in the middle by being a good friend to Shannon. However, Vicki knows Shannon better than Meghan. She has nothing to lose by not getting close to Meghan who is being rude to her friend. Heather and Tamra acknowledge that they feel bad that Shannon is being left out. While they are talking, in a transparent producer-orchestrated move, Meghan walks up and asks them if they’re talking about the Shannon situation… The hostess of a crowded charity event walks up to two people who are sitting outside on the outskirts of the sea of people and asks directly if they are talking about a certain issue that they happen to be talking about? Clearly, Meghan does not understand how reality TV works. I’m sure a producer was standing behind the cameras cringing… Meghan again claims she doesn’t want to feud with Shannon, but she just wants to make sure she can be around Shannon without her blowing up… I won’t belabor the issue with explaining again how fake and manipulative this all is, and how Meghan is reaching desperately to make herself relevant… I think you get the idea.

While at dinner with Shannon, we find out what Vicki really thinks of Meghan. She says that by marrying Jim, Meghan got a “cash cow”; she seems entitled, like a little girl. She thinks everything is hers, when in reality everything is Jim’s… From the charity event, Lizzie calls Shannon to check in on her. To Lizzie’s surprise Vicki and Shannon are having a glorious time. The whole group of ladies decides to leave the boring party and go join the real party at the restaurant with Shannon and Vicki. Tamra tells Meghan flat out where they’re going, and Meghan claims not to be offended. So Meghan is offended by a short phone call with Shannon, but she is not offended when all of the ladies ditch her party to go hang out with her enemy? Yeah, right…

It seems the line is being drawn in the sand. Meghan is on one side, and everyone else is on the other. Meghan tried to freeze out and isolate Shannon, but it seems to be backfiring. She’s the one being isolated. I wonder if things will stay this way. Only time will tell…

RHOC Season 10 Episode 3

At the start of this episode, Meghan, Tamra, and Heather are all having dinner together. They talk about the upcoming Napa trip and the previous night’s party at Vicki’s. Tamra said she was surprised that Lizzie was so nice. The two of them actually had fun together. However, she didn’t talk to Shannon much. Tamra says Shannon was “standoffish”. Meghan takes this opportunity to pipe up. Meghan and Shannon share some friends in common, and Meghan got Shannon’s personal cell phone number from a mutual friend. In a flashback scene, we see her call Shannon about a charity that they have both been involved in… I have to take this opportunity to say that I hate when the editors do this. Flashbacks are meant to be for reminders and short scenes, not new information that is pertinent to the storyline in a scene that lasts over a minute. If what is happening is that important, which in this case it absolutely is, then work it into an episode as a full scene. Okay, stepping off my soapbox… Meghan called Shannon to ask her for her advice about planning the charity event. Shannon sounded very confused on the phone and seemed busy, so she asked “Who is this?” Meghan replied with her maiden name “King”, which was incredibly stupid considering Shannon does not know her as Meghan King… Shannon asks if she can call her back because she was dealing with her kids in the car. Meghan apologizes for bothering her, and when she hangs up, Meghan acts extremely offended. Just like at Vicki’s party, Meghan is upset that Shannon, who probably only met Meghan once, does not remember her. Frankly, Meghan, you’re not than memorable… However, Meghan says she didn’t bring up the phone call at Vicki’s party because she didn’t feel it was appropriate “the first time she met Shannon” and in front of a bunch of new people… So now Meghan is saying that Vicki’s party was the first time they met? You can’t have it both ways, Meghan!...

Vicki is packing her bag for Florida where she is getting an award for her excellence in the insurance field.  She calls the awards “The Oscars of Insurance”, so I assume it’s a big deal. Congrats, Vicki! You worked your ass off. You deserve it!... Shannon is there watching her pack, and she is still not happy that she has to go on this trip without Vicki. She has forgiven Tamra and Heather, but she has not forgotten. Vicki is apparently too preoccupied, and she starts talking about the underwear she is packing. She has to have matching underwear in case she gets in a car accident?... Umm, I don’t understand…

The ladies meet at the airport and Heather has arranged for a private flight to Napa for all of them. Of course the men have to go separately. After Vicki’s party, Tamra feels more comfortable with Lizzie as long as they are having fun together. On board the plane Meghan pulls out some cheap-looking wine glasses that she colored on and customized for the ladies. Heather is celebrating the launch of her sparkling wine; bring tacky champagne glasses, not tacky wine glasses… Tamra starts talking religion with Katie, who we found out at Vicki’s party is quite religious herself. One of Tamra’s gym members told her to start going to church, so she obeyed. Now Tamra is claiming she is saved. Tamra will have to change a lot in her life if she is fully embracing the life of a devout Christian. Meghan says she is not opposed to religion, but she hasn’t found a church that isn’t boring. She doesn’t want to waste her time… I’m pretty sure that’s not what religion is about, and that’s not the best way to look at it.

Heather is friends with the Bello’s who own a winery in Napa, so she collaborated with them to do a methode champenoise… As I said a few weeks ago, you can’t call something “champagne” if it is not made in France, but you can still use the same techniques to create a product, and that product is called a “methode champenoise”. Heather meets with the event planners of her launch party. She wants bottles of Collette everywhere. I am just like Heather; I pretend not to micromanage and be a control freak, but we can’t help it. It’s in our personalities… #SorryNotSorry

While Heather is meeting with the event planners, the other ladies go to their rooms to settle in. Tamra walks in to see a card that says “Tamra Barney”. She knows to get rid of it because Eddie will get upset if he sees it. I can’t believe Tamra still hasn’t changed her name. I understand women not wanting to change their names when they are first married. Some women want to keep their maiden name for sake of their own identity, and some women, like Heather, need to keep their old last name for sake of their career. A name change for an actress or writer could be detrimental to her career if she is already established and known by her maiden name. Tamra has no excuse but laziness. She is currently keeping the last name of a man she has divorced and a man who has caused her so much turmoil? One would think she would have changed it immediately to sever that connection. I would advise Tamra to change her name back to her maiden name just in case things with Eddie don’t work out. I know that’s harsh, but with Tamra I’m just being realistic…

It comes time to leave for the launch party, and everyone is at the bus waiting for Shannon and David. Eventually they pull up in a golf cart, and we can hear them bickering about something. David asks the driver of the cart to turn back around, and they drive away again leaving everyone else standing there confused. Apparently David had stopped and had lunch with Christian on the way to Napa, and David drank a lot of sake. Shannon says she was afraid he was going to show up drunk, but I don’t think that was the real reason. Shannon reminds us that David was not a big drinker before last year, and it seems to me that Shannon associates the start of David’s drinking with his affair. So as soon as Shannon hears that he has been heavily drinking, the negative thoughts start coming back to her. This is probably going to be the hardest part for them as a couple. Shannon will never, and frankly should never, completely get over the infidelity. Certain things will always trigger those memories and thoughts for her. David is the one who screwed up, no pun intended, and he has to suffer the consequences. He has no business getting mad at Shannon for her concerns. The two of them finally come back on the golf cart, Shannon makes up some excuse about wardrobe issues, and they all go to the event.

At the event, Shannon starts looking for the bar. She wants vodka. I understand Shannon is upset and wants a strong drink, but it is a little rude not to try the drink that the launch party is honoring… Heather gets to saber a champagne bottle, an item on my bucket list, although I will feel guilty doing it because it wastes so much wonderful champagne… Tamra is annoyed that no one has said anything about her new boobs. I’m sorry. Is it just me, or is it rude to ask if you’ve had your boobs done? It’s something that the person who has had it done has to say aloud and then you can talk about it… Heather and Tamra sneak off to call Vicki. Heather tells her that they’re at Andale’s whooping it up without her. Vicki doesn’t understand how they can be having fun without her, the self proclaimed Fun Bus.

Heather pulls Terry aside and tells him that she has good news and bad news. The good news is she didn’t cut off her finger while sabering the bottle, and the bad news is they are over budget on their cabinets by $135K. This is the first time that she has gone over budget where she can’t shave off any money elsewhere. I’m not sure of the timing of this conversation. I assume they wanted to catch it on camera easily, and I suppose it is better to give that kind of news when the alcohol is flowing freely and you’re having a good time partying…

Shannon and Meghan go to the restroom together, and Shannon announces that she is wearing three Spanx, rendering it difficult to use the bathroom. Tamra, who also needs to use the facilities, comes to knock on the bathroom door. So apparently it is a one-person bathroom. For a party that size, I don’t think it was the best idea to have a one-stall bathroom… Meghan and Shannon yell to Tamra that they can hear her knocking and that they’re coming, but Tamra doesn’t hear them. She continues trying to open the door, knocking, and doing a little I-have-to-pee dance. She eventually goes into the men’s room, and when she comes out Shannon and Meghan are behind her. Shannon reaches out and pulls toilet paper from the bottom of Tamra’s dress. They all laugh about it, but Shannon calls it “Karma”.

Meghan, in a drunken state, approaches Shannon and says that she has heard rumblings that Shannon was mad at her for flirting with David. This happened a year ago! How transparent can Meghan be? She finds out she is going to be on the show, and she digs around in her memory to find something she can spin a storyline out of. Viewers know when you’re trying too hard… Shannon calmly reassures Meghan that it had nothing to do with her. Shannon says she felt invisible as her husband was talking to someone and did not introduce his wife. Shannon tells us it was the morning of the hoedown that she really knew something was wrong in her marriage and that David was most likely being unfaithful.

After the party, the ladies are wandering around the grounds of the resort looking for their rooms drunk and cold. Shannon and David finally find their way back, and Shannon apologizes to David for her negative thoughts earlier in the evening. I really don’t think Shannon needed to apologize, but it just goes to show how much she wants things to work out and how big of a person she is. She doesn’t want to let the negative thoughts affect their relationship any more than they already do.

The next morning everyone meets for breakfast and Meghan gives a toilet paper roll to Tamra. At least she didn’t color little flowers on it like the tacky wine glasses… Tamra admits that the previous night Eddie pulled more toilet paper out of her ass while they were in bed. And to my dismay, the editors decided to put a flashback scene of Eddie pulling toilet paper from under the sheets. I really did not need to see that… Although I will admit, THAT is the kind of thing the flashback is effective for…

The group then goes to a winery that looks like a brothel on the inside complete with mannequins dressed like strippers. The owner of the winery brings them to the wine barrels and is putting wine into their glasses straight from the barrel. However, Tamra wants to take a shot of wine directly from the phallic dispenser. Meghan, not to be outdone by Tamra, says she wants to do the same. Tamra calls Meghan her “mini-me” even though Meghan is taller, and Meghan calls Tamra her “mentor”. Anyone else throw up a little? I’m sure Vicki would have if she had been there.

The group then goes to a party at the Bello’s house for their last night in Napa. Meghan thinks this is a great time to talk to Shannon about the phone call that we saw at the beginning of the episode. This would be the second night in a row that Meghan has approached Shannon about a problem; not a good idea… Meghan says she was truly offended by the phone call. By the look on Shannon’s face, you can tell she is already done with this conversation, but she stays to continue. Shannon says she was also offended; she explains her confusion to defend herself, even though she really shouldn’t have to—anyone with a little intelligence can see why Shannon acted the way she did. First of all, Meghan was calling from an out of state number. Second, Meghan didn’t use her full name, the name that Shannon knows. And finally, Shannon had no idea how Meghan got her private number. Shannon says she thought it was a sales call… Meghan claims she wanted to get Shannon’s opinion on the number of hors-d’oeuvres to serve. Why call someone you barely know to ask such a dumb question that any caterer could help you answer? When Shannon did not call Meghan back, she sent Shannon a text message. It was then that Shannon finally put the pieces together and figured out that Meghan was a friend of Heather’s. Shannon felt no need to call her back. Meghan starts harping on the fact that she wanted Shannon’s help on a charity function, but Shannon just didn’t have the time. She is acting like Shannon is not charitable and doesn’t care to help charity. Shannon is having none of it, and she walks away saying, “I start charities!”

From the previews, it seems this small thing that Meghan blew way out of proportion is about to blow up even more. Let the drama begin. Something tells me Meghan is self-destructing with this one. Is it bad to say I hope she doesn’t recover? :)

RHOC Season 10 Episode 2

This episode opens with Heather entering a cake shop to meet with a cake decorator, one with whom she has worked before. She is celebrating the official launch of her sparkling wine in Napa, and she wants a cake made to look like the bottle for the occasion. The wine is named “Collette” after her daughter. Heather also makes it a point to call her line “sparkling wine”, not “champagne”, because something can only be called “champagne” if it comes from the certain region in France… And before you call me “Fancy-pants”, I will tell you that I only know that because I love wine, and I am a Francophile… Apparently this is the same cake decorator that made the infamous bowed cake for Heather’s name changing party. There is a flashback to the bow-eating incident, but disappointingly, they did not include the iconic “Is this the world we live in?” scene.

Shannon and David are still at the retreat, and Shannon shares some divorce statistics with us including the fact that in the OC, the divorce rate is 70%. Shannon does not want to be part of this percentage. However, Shannon clearly thought seriously about divorce if she did enough research to find out these statistics. As part of the retreat Shannon and David write their own eulogies for the other to read at their mock funerals. These mock funerals were complete with black cloths and headstones. I know the point of the exercise was to get the two of them to think about what a life without the other would be like, and I’m sure it’s effective, but it’s also very morbid… David reads what Shannon has written, and he starts crying. Shannon says David never cries, so she has hope that this experience will help them move past the affair.

Next we see Tamra and Heather meet for juice… That’s right… juice. Now that juice bars are en vogue, I guess that’s what people do… Tamra says Heather is the only one in the group she trusts right now, yet last week when we saw Tamra have surgery, she tried to garner viewer pity and said she wasn’t close with anyone… Heather tells her about the party in Napa for the wine launch and that all of the girls will be there. Tamra reacts badly to the fact that she will be forced to socialize with Lizzie. Heather says if she and Shannon can be cordial, then so can Tamra and Lizzie. Out of nowhere, Tamra starts to fake cry, and even Heather seems not to believe it, asking why she is about to start crying… Tamra says that she lost herself, and Heather says she will help Tamra get back what she has lost.

At the retreat the therapist asks Shannon and David if their kids know about the affair. Shannon divulges that one of her daughters found the texts between David and his mistress on his cell phone while he had moved out of the house. The therapist tells them that in cases of infidelity the fear is that the one cheated on will never truly forgive the cheater. However, Shannon and David claim that they want to move past this, and they take the final steps to truly and sincerely apologize for what happened. The therapist says it can take up to 2 years for forgiveness to become fully realized, but I ask does one ever really get over infidelity? There will always be doubt and suspicion acting like poison in the marriage. I hope the best for them, but it will not be quick or easy. In leaving the retreat, Shannon says she has 100% forgiven David.

So far the juxtaposition of the two strained marriages this season is very interesting. Shannon and David are recognizing their issues and trying to work on them, but Meghan and Jim seem to be ignoring the clear issues they are having. We see Meghan and Jim shopping to redecorate their house, the one that Jim and his second ex-wife built and decorated together. Meghan wants to buy all new things, but Jim feels they should not buy things that they already have. Jim doesn’t seem to want to get rid of the old stuff, but I don’t think he realizes that in keeping things the same as they were in his old marriage, he’s keeping around old memories and not allowing Meghan to make her own memories and stamps on his life… Jim is leaving for work in another part of the country, and Meghan is worried about the stress it will put on their marriage. Jim does not seem concerned and says that Meghan has new friends now to keep her occupied… Is anyone else having flashbacks to Camille and Kelsey Grammer?

Shannon and David get home from the retreat, and as part of the forgiveness process, David apologizes individually to his three daughters. Of course the three girls forgive him, and the eldest daughter makes a very mature statement saying that she will never forget, but she will forgive him.

Tamra and Eddie are making dinner, and Vicki calls while she is in Mexico. Vicki says Mexico makes her think of Tamra… Tequila and regret makes Vicki think of Tamra, really? I would have never guessed… Tamra passive-aggressively suggests that she’s surprised that Brooks can travel while on chemo, and Vicki says that he’s doing fine right now, and Eddie coughs “bulls**t” in the background… Tamra blames all of their problems on Brooks, but changes her tune later when she’s talking to Vicki face to face… Vicki invites them to a Mexican themed party at her house, and Tamra says she is taking that as an apology. I’m not sure what Vicki needs to apologize to Tamra for, but whatever makes her feel better…

Jimmy and Meghan go to Heather’s house so the couples can go to Vicki’s party together. Heather is very relieved that this will be the first time the ladies get together as a group. This will be a test-run for the Napa trip. Meghan is nervous to meet Vicki, as she should be, but she must not know much about Vicki, as she also expects Vicki to be nervous to meet her. Vicki is so used to meeting and hating the new housewives who seem to come and go very quickly, there is no way she is nervous to meet Meghan.

Vicki’s party is in full swing when Tamra and Eddie arrive. Despite how upset Tamra was to hear that Lizzie was invited on the Napa trip, she acted completely unfazed when the two of them spoke for a while at Vicki’s party. Vicki and Tamra exchange some awkward moments including Vicki basically shoving a piece of fish down Tamra’s throat. When Shannon enters the party, she walks right past Tamra to Vicki without acknowledging Tamra or even looking at her… Brooks tells Tamra that his cancer is “highly curable”, and he seems to have a good and positive attitude about the situation. Tamra asks him about some specifics about his chemo, and he gives a very vague and uniformed answer. He is not making himself look good with regard to the notion that the cancer might not be real.

Tamra sees Jeana enter the party, and she runs over to hug her… They seem to have come a long way since Tamra threw red wine in Jeana’s face… Tamra also took this opportunity to greet and hug Shannon who was standing right next to Jeana. Shannon of course was surprised at the unwelcomed hug and was very short with Tamra… Jeana has lost a lot of weight and looks fantastic. Tamra tells us that she and Jeana are in a better place now because Jeana was there as moral support for Tamra while she was going through custody battles, a job she thought Vicki would handle.

Vicki tries covertly to compliment the “aura” of romance surrounding Shannon and David, suggesting that they seem to be in such a great place. If I were Shannon, I would be mad at Vicki for bringing unwanted attention to the relationship. Shannon has not told anyone else about David’s infidelity, and by Vicki randomly pointing out that they’re happy and in love, it would make one who knows nothing about the affair ask, “Well why wouldn’t they be? What’s going on in their marriage?” And you can tell Shannon does experience some of these feelings by her fake smile, which Lizzie sees right through.

In a short scene of Brooks discussing his new diet with Tamra, he says he eats a lot of beans. This sparks a conversation on farting… I could have done without that, Bravo editors… Thank you so much…

 I should take this opportunity to talk about Katie Hamilton. She was reported to be the newest housewife on RHOC this season, but midway through filming, her husband blindsided her with divorce, and we later found out that he was allegedly using drugs. These devastating life events caused Katie to stop filming and pull out of her housewife slot. While this is extremely sad for Katie and her kids, it is also somewhat sad for us as viewers. From the little we see of Katie in this episode, I think she would have been an excellent addition to the show. She seems refreshingly real in her personality. But I’m sure we all understand that under those circumstances, anyone would need to pull herself from public eye and become a little reclusive. I believe I saw someone say on Twitter that Katie would have been the new Alexis of RHOC… Sure… They’re the exact same, oh yeah except Katie seems intelligent…and real…and not pretentious…do I need to continue?

Heather, Meghan, and Katie arrive at the party, and Meghan introduces herself to Vicki as if they had never met, but Vicki remembers immediately that she had met Meghan before. Meghan then moves on to greet Shannon. Shannon replies with a, “Nice to meet you,” and Meghan simultaneously says, “Nice to see you,”… Awkward!... Meghan then seems almost offended that Shannon does not remember meeting her last year at Heather’s hoedown, yet she seemed to expect that Vicki would not remember meeting her… Strange… Anyway, Shannon clearly does not remember Meghan at all, yet Meghan seems convinced that Shannon dislikes her for flirting with David at the hoedown. All I can say is Meghan needs to get over herself. Shannon has more important things to worry about than the existence of Meghan Edmonds. Considering David’s infidelity, Shannon probably remembers David flirting, but she more than likely doesn’t remember the recipient of the flirting.

Last year Vicki was hiding her relationship with Brooks and almost seemed ashamed of it, but this year he is with her constantly and has even moved in with her. Heather suggests that it is Brook’s illness that has caused them to realize that they need to celebrate their times together because life is so precious, fleeting, and all that sappy stuff… While this is probably very true and valid, I think there is another underlying reason that is more salient to Vicki, and that is Brianna. Last year Brianna was still living in the OC, and she had a small child with another one on the way. Vicki is very much about family, and she wanted to spend as much time with them as she could. Since Brianna does not like Brooks in the slightest, Vicki knew that if she wanted to spend time with her child and grandchild, she would have to make Brooks secondary…or really tertiary because we all know that Vicki’s work comes right after her children in order of importance.

Heather congratulates Vicki on her winning an award, which is why she will not be going to Napa with the ladies. Shannon is quick to express her displeasure with this. She is not happy to be basically alone with Heather and Tamra, but right now she is all about forgiving and moving on, so she’s going to give it a shot.

As an aside, I must say that watching drunk women try to break open a piñata while wearing Louboutins in grass is incredibly entertaining. Bravo needs to jump on that idea quickly…but I want a piece of the profits… Lizzie and Shannon notice that Tamra and Vicki are holding hands, and Shannon tells Vicki later that she was surprised by that considering that Vicki said she was done with Tamra. Shannon says that she can move on too, but she doesn’t think that needs to involve holding hands.

Before the party ends, the ladies gather together to take a tequila shot, which is appropriate since this is the first time the whole group of them has been together. I have to point out though, that Heather is seen pretending to take the shot, but turns and pours it out. Honestly, I would have done the same thing, but she better hope that Vicki doesn’t see that…

After everyone else leaves, Tamra and Vicki have a sit down to discuss the constant up and down of their friendship for the past few years, and I must say as a viewer, it’s starting to get exhausting and episodic. At the beginning of every season they make up, then by the season finale and reunion, they’re screaming at each other and proclaiming that they’re “done”. It’s getting a little old… Tamra brings up that she has been going through a hard time, but Vicki doesn’t let that fly. She starts reading off a litany of issues she has been facing, the last of which is Brooks and his cancer. She makes it seems a lot worse than Brooks did during his conversation with Tamra earlier. Vicki throws around phrases like “fighting for his life” and “stage 3 cancer”, very serious things. Tamra says the turning point was the party at Heather’s where they had their first big fight about Brooks and people were throwing around the “evil eye”… Tamra says she wants to move on, but it seems that trust is completely gone between the two of them. Tamra says that she will take 100% of the blame if that’s what it takes to move forward. She is sorry that she ever doubted the relationship between Brooks and Vicki. They both say they are not ready to give up on their friendship, so they are officially burying the hatchet. Recall that earlier in the episode Tamra blamed all of their problems on Brooks. Now that she is face to face with Vicki, Tamra changes her tune. The problems started with Brooks, but she is now taking all of the blame. That was a quick blame shift… Who buys that these two will ever be back to what they had pre-Brooks? Yeah, me neither…

RHOC Season 10 Episode 1

I don’t know about you guys, but I am ecstatic that RHOC is back. I have always said that RHOC is the best in the franchise. I have never been disappointed with any season. Even the casting is terrific. All of the housewives, past and present, have been entertaining in one way or another. I certainly cannot say that about other shows in the franchise…I’m looking at you Kristen of RHONY… So far, and from the trailer, this season looks like it will not disappoint. RHOC is a prime example of the rule that the original is always better than the imitations.

Of course we start the season off with my favorite housewife of all time: Heather Dubrow. Heather is in the throws of building a new resort house complete with a porte-cochère, which is just the fabulous name for a drive up entrance, or as I called it in the south, “a carport”. The house is huge and beautiful, and I do not think I can adequately express the level of my jealousy. One day I will have my own, one day. Even the children’s rooms are larger than my entire apartment. Heather’s son’s room has what Terry calls a “pot-smoking balcony”. Of course the son pretended to have no idea what his father was talking about, but let’s face it—the kid isn’t stupid, and he goes to school and lives in southern California…he knows what pot is… Heather says that Terry is working more than he ever did even though he said last season that he would be able to dedicate more time to his family. I’m gonna cut Terry some slack here. When he made that promise, he had no idea that he would be part of a second very successful show, Botched, which I’m sure takes up a lot of his time.

Next we see Vicki and Shannon having lunch. I may have been the only one, but these two ladies with their librarian glasses perched half-way down their noses and the bickering over whether or not to include dressing on the salad was highly amusing to me. I think it’s these little touches that the editors keep in that take the show to another level of entertainment… Vicki tells Shannon that Brooks has moved into her house, and Brianna isn’t happy about it. Vicki also makes a comparison between her relationship with Brooks and the relationship that Shannon and David have. Vicki says that the two of them seem better than ever, but Shannon’s face says differently. We will get to that later though…

Is it surprising to anyone that Tamra wants her implants put back in? I didn’t think so… When she had them taken out, it seemed that she was over the vanity and wanted to be herself now that she was divorced from Simon. In fact, it seemed like she was insinuating that the only reason she ever got implants was because Simon liked big breasts. Now she wants them back because she is yet again insecure. I honestly don’t think Tamra needs the implants, but if she thinks it will make her happy, more power to her… Tamra says she didn’t tell anyone that she was having the surgery, not even her good friend Heather. With regards to last season, Tamra says that she was being honest, and no one liked it. So she has decided that now she is going to tell people “what they want to hear”. I call BS on this for two reasons. First of all, she was not being honest last season. She never owned up to the lie she told Shannon about the Dubrows saying that they wanted to “take the Beadors down”. I don’t think Heather or Terry would ever say such a thing, and I don’t think that Shannon would make it up either. So the only conclusion is that Tamra lied. Second, I don’t buy for one second that Tamra is going to tell people “what they want to hear”. That is not in her personality. Tamra is the pot stirrer; she would be a pot stirrer whether she were on or off camera. We’ll see how the season progresses… As Tamra waits in the recovery room, wearing fake eyelashes and putting on lip-gloss, she says she regrets not telling anyone about the surgery. Now she has no one, except Eddie of course, to visit her in the recovery room.

This season there is a new housewife, Meghan Edmonds. We actually saw Meghan and her husband, Jim, last season at Heather’s hoedown/ground breaking party. So evidently Meghan is a friend of Heather’s, and for her first scene as an official housewife, we see Meghan and Heather at dinner. Meghan is clearly quite young with great skin, but she tells Heather that she needs Botox. Really? She has no signs of wrinkles. I’m in my late 20s and I’m getting crow’s feet already, and I don’t talk about getting Botox yet…unless I’m drunk…  Meghan says she wants more kids, but Jim has had a vasectomy, so they would need to use in-vitro. Meghan says that Heather is the optimal mother and wife, and honestly, I cannot disagree based on everything we are shown on the show. Meghan also tells us that she broke all of her rules by marrying Jim… Uh oh… As an avid reality TV viewer, those words set off warning signals for me. Trouble may be on the horizon.

Next we see Vicki and Brooks at home getting ready to have some dinner. We are officially told that Brooks has cancer, but as has been teased in the trailer, that topic seems to be the discussion of debate throughout the season. Brooks wants to eat a lot of things that he’s not supposed to, but Vicki, true to form, protests. Brooks is apparently going through chemo, which makes him ill for weeks on end. If that is the truth, then surely Brooks does have cancer. I don’t think Vicki would go along with a lie that big and disturbing. What reason would she have for doing so? However, Brianna believes Brooks is lying about the cancer because he doesn’t look like a person with cancer. I’m intrigued to see where this storyline goes.

In her first solo scene, we learn some things about the new housewife, Meghan. She and her husband have moved “6 times”. She then goes on to list the moves, and I’m pretty sure I counted 8… So counting is not her forte… Meghan says that Jim “knows [her] soul”. He understands her feelings and where she’s coming from; he respects her… However, those crafty and shady editors strike again! These kind statements she is making about her respectful and loving husband are juxtaposed with scenes of him acting in the exact opposite manner; that is, we see him talking rudely to her and disrespecting her. Meghan says she wants to go to dinner “as a family”, to which her stepdaughter replies, “that’s an obscure term”… It’s clear that the stepdaughter views this marriage as a joke. Meghan is closer in age to the stepdaughter than to Jim. At dinner we learn that Jim has misplaced his wedding ring, but he doesn’t seem interested in finding it… More warning signs… Things are not looking good for these two, and it’s only the first episode.

From one dysfunctional marriage to another, we see Shannon and David who seem to be struggling in their marriage as well. They are on their way to a couple’s retreat, and Shannon is fearful that this will stir up old emotions. During the retreat Shannon brings out that David had had an affair. As if that were not bad enough, David was apparently Gaslighting Shannon, making her feel like she was crazy for suspecting something. But Shannon found hotel receipts in his briefcase, and she asked him one last time if he were being unfaithful. David finally admitted to it. During the couple’s retreat, there is an exercise in which they have to write the highs and lows of their lives. I didn’t catch it the first time, but when I rewatched the episode, I realized something quite disturbing in my opinion. During the exercise, David speaks about and writes that the affair was both a high point and low point for him. If David still views his affair as a good thing in his life, he is probably not remorseful that it happened. That suggests to me that he might cheat again. Nothing about that is okay… Shannon hopes to say one day that these experiences were a blessing. I hope so too, Shannon, but I am doubtful. I knew last season that something was not right between them, and that they were hiding something from the cameras. It seems this might have been it.

Vicki and Brooks are taking a trip to Mexico to get away and relax. On their way to the airport Vicki has a phone conversation with her mother. Vicki says she’s loud, obnoxious, and funny like her mother. I agree completely, and that is why we love both of them. This scene was incredibly sad and beautiful at the same time. We know that Vicki’s mother has since passed away, and surely that scene was hard for Vicki to watch. I wish her the best, and she should take solace in the fact that she has great memories of her and her mother together captured forever on this show.

Tamra steals Heather’s hoedown theme, and does a mediocre job at it, for a baby shower for Sarah and Ryan. Tamra’s dress was tragic, but not as tragic as Lynne’s brown jumpsuit… I will say it is great to see Lynne. Other than her outfit choice, she looks great. She got divorced from her husband, Raquel had a baby, and she has become “revirginized”… TMI, Lynne!... Tamra says that she and Vicki are not close anymore; they’re still fighting after last year. The only time they’ve really talked was when Vicki called her about Brooks’ cancer. Tamra says she wishes Vicki were at the baby shower to celebrate with her. Tamra also says she is keeping quiet this year; she’s not going to be talking about anyone’s business. Again, I’ll believe it when I see it…

Back at the couple’s retreat, Shannon says there was infidelity in her family as a child. She had to keep secrets and act like nothing was going on. She says she needed more unconditional love and a present father, and she is afraid her kids will go through the same thing. Shannon’s kids found out about the affair even though Shannon wanted to keep it from them. This is most likely the reason why Shannon and David are discussing the affair this season and did not discuss it last season. I have a feeling the kids found out about it in between seasons, so there was no reason to keep it a secret anymore. While it’s a heart-breaking thing, I think it’s good that Shannon is putting it all out there this season. She will get even more support from fans than she did before.

Season 10 of RHOC is off to a great start, and next week we will see Vicki and Tamra get into it. Is this the end of their long-standing friendship? We will see…

RHOMelbourne Season 2 Episode 6

This episode begins at some sportsball event… Chyka’s company is catering part of the event, and Janet, Gamble, and Pettifleur meet her there. Apparently Gamble, being from Sydney, is representing the wrong sportsball team in Janet’s opinion, but she doesn’t want to start a fight and says, “I’m not going there…” Janet also says that things should be pleasant today since Gamble’s watchdog, Gina is not there.

We then see a phone call between Lydia and Jackie. Lydia asks Jackie what exactly happened the night of the chef’s party when she told off Gamble and Gina. At the party, Lydia seemed okay with what happened. However, she either let it fester and piss her off, or she sees an opportunity to start some drama and solidify some more airtime. Either way, Lydia is not happy with Gamble. Lydia walks up to join the other ladies, and she is drinking water, not champagne, which Janet very loudly points out. Gamble inserts her foot into her mouth, but not before she can ask if Lydia is pregnant. Lydia replies, “I wish I was, but no. Are you?... Cheers to your dogs, not babies…” I have to hand it to Lydia that was a quick and clever retort… The topic of Barbie nicknames comes up again, and Lydia refuses to accept hers. Janet says Chyka’s should be Slither Barbie since she was able to slither out of the trouble with Gamble. You can’t fault Chyka for playing the Housewives game and playing it well.

Gamble asks the other ladies about the trip to Sydney. Chyka and Lydia will not be going, and Janet’s feigned excitement is a bit too much for me. During the trip, the ladies will be going to an art gallery where Gamble apparently works/worked. Pettifleur asks Gamble about her “work” at said art gallery. She says she was just trying to find out what Gamble does for work, but Gamble seemed annoyed by the very simple and harmless question. Gamble decides to give payback and asks Pettifleur about one of her business ventures and if her husband had any part in it. Pettifleur insists that she did all of the work herself, and she knew exactly what Gamble was shadily insinuating.

Lydia tells Gamble that she needs to talk to her. Maybe for once, the ladies will not make a scene and talk privately… What am I talking about? Of course not, and thank God! We want the drama! Instead of separating themselves from the group, Lydia starts right in on Gamble, saying that she was upset that Gamble was smiling and smirking during her emotional story at the party. Gamble claims she was laughing at Rick’s face who apparently hates weddings, part of the topic of conversation… Hold on, didn’t Rick just ask Gamble to marry him? Hmm… Gamble is shocked that Lydia thought she was laughing the death of a child. Gamble does apologize, and she says she likes Lydia, but the next time Lydia starts to make a “speech”, Gamble is running for the hills… Can we get that in writing?

Janet pulls Pettifleur aside to talk to her about the Sydney trip. Janet says she is going to “enemy camp”, and she is glad Pettifleur is coming with her. Yet just five minutes ago, we witnessed Janet professing how much she can’t wait to go to Sydney. I can’t even with Janet and her fakeness… Pettifleur is tired of the Janet-Gamble saga, and I cannot agree more. Janet calls Gamble a firecracker who can go off at any minute, which is disconcerting to her… But I think Janet is just afraid that at her age she’ll wet herself from the shock. Maybe she should invest in some Depends while she is around Gamble. Someone give her Lisa Rinna’s phone number.

Gamble is packing for her Sydney trip, and she decides to pack three outfits per day. Is it safe to say that Gamble is high maintenance?... She thinks they’re going to have a great time. I don’t buy it… She knows her family is not going to treat Janet kindly. Rick says Gamble needs to get over the drama, and that women hold on to things too much; they’re too emotional… While that’s an exaggeration and a bit sexist, if certain women were not this way, we wouldn’t have the Real Housewives. And my life would be less complete…

Jackie and Chyka meet to talk about throwing Gamble a “hen’s party”, which I assume is the Australian term for a “bachelorette party”. Jackie wants to bring strippers to the party, a staple of a bachelorette party. Chyka is afraid it may offend Gamble by bringing to the surface the stripper rumor again, plus she thinks it’s not classy. But Jackie claims that a stripper who shakes his ass, not his cock, is classy…

Gina, Janet, and Pettifleur meet Gamble at a hotel room in Sydney. They are getting ready to go to an art gallery party for Charles Billich. Pettifleur recites a litany of facts about the artist, and Gina jokingly asks if Pettifleur Googled him. Pettifleur says she knows how to do her research, and she seems a little insulted by Gina’s question… Gina says Janet has come a long way with Gamble, but she thinks it’s just a poker face, but she doesn’t know if it’s a natural talent or a cosmetic one…

The ladies go to the art gallery party where they make idle chit-chat with the artist and various socialites. Gamble introduces the girls to her sister, Tempest (an apt name for what is coming…). Tempest is calmly talking about some plastic surgery that she is planning to have done, and then out of nowhere, she starts attacking Janet about the “lies” she “made up” about Gamble. She tells Janet to get some evidence if she is going to say such things. Janet sees that Gamble has told everyone that she was the one who made up the rumors. Janet walks out; she says she doesn’t want to be attacked every time she sees Gamble. Gamble chases Janet out of the gallery to bring her back in, but why? Gamble just stood there while Gamble’s sister was awkwardly tearing into Janet. Gamble should have stopped it… Gina sees Gamble running out and chases both of them down the street. Janet refuses to come back… Back at the gallery, Pettifleur is talking to Tempest and is trying to explain what really happened between Janet and Gamble, but Tempest starts getting nasty with Pettifleur.

Gina and Gamble return to the gallery, and Gina calls Janet to make sure she made it back to the hotel. Gamble makes chicken noises in the background like an immature twelve year old. Gina is being the voice of reason; she seems to be taking up for Janet by telling things like they are/were.

Jackie, Lydia, and Chyka, the three ladies who did not go to Sydney, meet to play croquet and have a picnic in the park. Janet had called and told them the whole story. All three of them assert that Gamble should have stopped her sister from attacking Janet.

The ladies in Sydney go on a boat ride in the harbor, but Janet decides not to go, probably because Gamble’s sister, Tempest, was there. I don’t blame her for that… Gamble says she wishes Janet were there because she wanted everyone to have a good time in her home city, even though less than 24 hours previously Gamble was clucking at Janet over voicemail… Gamble says she should have stopped her sister from attacking Janet, and that she will apologize.

Chyka teaches her son to fry chicken cutlets. Her family is always fun to watch. They are real people not putting on airs. It’s rather refreshing.

Janet decides to lady-up and attend the last dinner in Sydney. Gamble does apologize as soon as she sees Janet. The two of them continue to talk as they sit down at the table. Gina butts into the conversation, and Janet asks her not to; however, it’s not a private conversation. They’re at a dinner table talking in front of everyone. Janet links what she did to Gamble to what Gina did to Lydia in the limo during the first episode bringing up the rumor of Lydia and her husband separating. Gina admits she sees where Janet is coming from. Pettifleur then butts in telling Gina to stop defending Gamble blindly. If Pettifleur were a judge, she says she would go after facts. Since Janet is already arguing with Gina, she then brings up the story that Gina was telling about her flirting with Rick. Gina says that she embellished the story a bit, but we all saw it… It seemed a little flirtatious to me… Gina says she doesn’t gossip, and Janet finds that amusing. Janet proposes they have a pact; the story of the Gamble rumors it is not to be brought up again. They all agree and shake on it… However, they seem to be forgetting there is a little event called the reunion where they discuss everything that happened during the season; they HAVE to talk about it again… Janet looks to be on the verge of tears, and Gina says to her that she has the same type of relationship with her that she has with her partner. It’s tumultuous but long lasting.

Pettifleur says she’s a diamond expert and asks where Gamble’s engagement ring is. Apparently Pettifleur is an expert in everything, even a nickname expert. If that’s the case, why didn’t Gamble consult her before coming up with the Barbie names?... The ladies laugh and roll their eyes at Pettifleur. Gina admits that people often tend to talk over Pettifleur. Gina says Pettifleur is highly strung, and she doesn’t see a friendship between them… It looks like trouble is brewing between these two, and from the preview of the next episode, I’m right… 

RHOMelbourne Season 2 Episode 5

They tried to make us think at the end of last episode that the Janet and Gamble thing was over… Who else is calling “BS”?...

At the beginning of this episode, Pettifleur takes her son Nathan out shopping for a suit. She says the two of them have a great relationship because he listens to everything she says. For his sake, I hope that is false. I am imagining Nathan flipping his inner bitch, and I would imagine that would be confusing for a straight guy… We know how Pettifleur treats sales associates, so I was not shocked when she asked the salesman to give them the tie he was wearing. He of course obliges, but it was a beautiful tie, so I assume he did so under mental duress.

Gina brings Gamble to a fashion event. Gamble says to the cameras that she’s in love, but Gina does not seem to share that sentiment. Gina calls Gamble “a fan”. I must admit I almost choked with laughter at the juxtaposition of these two statements… During the event, Gina presents a dress that she is donating for auction. Gamble puts a bid in for it, but as soon as the price starts to climb, she stops bidding. For once Gamble is not taking advantage of an opportunity to show out for the cameras. Could it be a money issue? It is only now occurring to me considering what comes up later in the episode… The final bid for the dress is made by a gay couple. I wonder what they’re going to do with that dress… Gamble takes the chance to thank Gina for her help with Janet. During her interview, Gina says she is disappointed that Chyka is yet again fence sitting, which Gina claims she did last season as well.

Jackie brings Janet to something called “Cougar Speed Dating”… I guess “The Living Dead Speed Dating” was all booked up… Janet meets some real gems including one who wants to be a “kept man”. The whole time Jackie is standing in the corner telling some poor bystander about her psychic vibes she’s getting from the guys sitting with Janet. Even after meeting all of the guys and claiming that they were all wonderful, Janet decides she doesn’t need a man to complete her.

Later, Pettifleur and Jackie meet for drinks. Jackie gives her a brief recap of what’s going on between Janet and Gamble. Chyka walks in and Pettifleur asks for her input. Pettifleur also claims she has heard that Gamble has been talking badly about her. Jackie and Chyka seem not to know what she is talking about. But eventually they do say that Gamble has called her “nouveau riche”, which they, nor I, think is exactly an insult.

Jackie and Ben are looking for a model to be the face for the La Mascara brand. Jackie says she wants to give someone a shot who might not normally get one. She wants someone with a great personality. As they look at model photos, Jackie can feel their personalities and energies through the photos, which helps the elimination process go quicker. She comes across a male model whom she adores, but Ben refuses to allow a male model to have the job. Jackie says she has the final word, and when she meets the right person, she will instantly feel it.

At Chyka’s chef’s dinner Lydia shows up with a friend, not her husband… Didn’t Gina say during the first episode of the season that there was some rumor that Lydia and her husband were having problems? Curious… The first thing that Janet passive-aggressively says to Gamble is that she’s not flirting with Rick, as she had been accused of before. Chyka’s chef seems to know what he is doing. He is using very showy and modern cooking techniques. He uses liquid nitrogen to freeze meringue and he puts soup in test tubes. It looked interesting. I would eat at his restaurant.

During dinner Lydia begins sharing a sappy moment about her son and his marriage. She started to get emotional about it. Jackie catches Gamble snickering and smirking while Lydia is practically crying, and she calls her out. Gina jumps to her defense and says Gamble was sharing a private moment with her man. In her interview, Gamble admits that she’s physically scared of Jackie… Lydia also shares that she views her son in an extra special way since she lost a child at birth when she was 21. I’m 27, and I can’t imagine going through that at my age, much less at 21. My heart broke for Lydia in that moment… But then I realized my cold heart couldn’t handle that, so I moved on…

Jackie asks Gina how she likes her new living quarters. Gina says she feels it’s a bit haunted. Jackie tells her to sage the place and usher out the bad energy. Gina says if she were haunting a house, she would laugh at someone using sage. She simply doesn’t believe in that kind of stuff. But on a side note, if Gina were a ghost, I hope she would haunt Andrea’s house and constantly leave the bathroom a mess complete with makeup stained towels everywhere…

Gamble apparently has Barbie nicknames for the ladies, and Lydia asks what hers is. Gamble tells her it is “S&M Barbie”. Lydia pretends not to know what that means… Yeah right, Lydia. Yeah right… Pettifleur also asks what hers is, and she is told  “Nouveau Riche Barbie”. Pettifleur starts asking about Gamble’s money and where it came from. Gamble says that “nouveau riche” is not meant as a derogatory term, and that everyone in Sydney, where she is from, is nouveau riche. Then she says that she is from old money. Her father was apparently a successful artist… Hold on… First of all, if everyone in Sydney is nouveau riche, then how is her family “old money”? Also, I would hardly consider money from one prior generation to be “old money”. It seems that she doesn’t want to be labeled “nouveau riche” even though it is “not an insult”… Gamble then says that she has heard that Pettifleur didn’t like her handbag and was talking crap about it. So that’s the only reason she called her “nouveau riche”? To get back at her? She wanted to give a dig for her handbag’s sake… Also, why is Gamble getting so annoyed at Pettifleur for supposedly talking behind her back? Didn’t she ask Janet to do that rather than insult her to her face?... I was highly confused about this whole conversation. Gamble is making absolutely no sense. Gamble also said she heard that Pettifleur was calling her “stupid”. Pettifleur asks her, “Are you?” Gamble responds saying that she has “moments of stupidity”. And Pettifleur retorts with, “Well I don’t…” Another moment of choking laughter. I have to remember not to drink wine while watching this…

After Gamble gets it from Pettifleur, she returns to her seat, and Janet starts in on her. Janet asks Gamble if she really thought she was flirting with Rick. Gamble didn’t really answer the question but opts instead to jump back into the fight that they had buried. Gamble starts getting worked up, but Janet remains calm. Janet claims the reason Gamble was getting upset was because Rick was present, and Gamble had probably told him an exaggerated version of the truth. Janet tries to tell her side of the story, and Gamble keeps butting in getting more and more upset. Rick goes into grandfather fiancé mode and starts chastising her. Gamble says she wants to go home, but Chyka and Rick talk her into staying…

Later Janet meets with Pettifleur to talk about the dinner. Janet says she wonders if Gamble told Rick the real story. Janet also starts talking about Gamble’s money saying that she has none, while she’s pretending to be old money. Pettifleur says she doesn’t know why Gina and Gamble are friends. Janet says that Gina has a reason; everything is very planned when it comes to Gina. So Janet is suggesting that Gina is using Gamble strategically. I hope that is the case; I can’t stand Gamble, and I don’t see how Gina can put up with her idiocy… Janet says if Gina sees a way to “smash” her, she’ll take it.

Chyka and Gamble bring their dogs out to a park. Gamble’s dog starts awkwardly humping Chyka’s dog… Gamble says that Chyka’s dogs are spoiled and that they aren’t show dogs. Am I living in a parallel universe? Neither is Gamble’s!... Didn’t we just see Gamble with a dog trainer? Her dog would do nothing it was told, and we found out that she treats it like a human child! I have to borrow a line from Sarah Winchester… “Is this the world we live in?”… The two ladies talk about the dinner party. Gamble feels no one gets her, so she wants to invite them all to Sydney to see her family… What could possibly go wrong?

RHOMelbourne Season 2 Episode 4

As the last episode concluded, Gina said she would talk to Janet for Gamble. So at the beginning of this episode, we see Janet walking into the restaurant to meet Gina. She seems to think this is going to be a friendly meeting, but she has no idea… During their conversation, Janet insists that Chyka started everything, and that Chyka was talking about the same sexual rumors that Janet brought up. Gina warns Janet that Gamble might take legal action, and she says she doesn’t like how Janet is treating her new friend. Janet says in her interview that she doesn’t believe that Gina truly cares about Gamble. Naïve Janet seems to have had enough, and she walks out mumbling about a deck of cards, clearly making fun of what Gina cleverly told Andrea last season…

After three and a half episodes, my long wait is over. I was wondering when I would see Chyka’s gorgeous husband Bruce, and finally he appears. Chyka and Bruce are planning a racing carnival, but that’s all I recall… The conversation that was taking place was rather boring, and I was too busy looking at Bruce…

Janet and Jackie go shopping for an appropriate golfing outfit. Apparently, there are many rules concerning the attire on the golf course, and Jackie is not happy about it. No denim? Come on… Jackie asks who is coming to the golf course, and Janet tells her about having coffee with Gina. Then the strangest thing starts to happen… Janet pretends to cry… I assume she is pretending because I don’t think Janet’s body, at its age, is capable of producing moisture anymore… Janet says that Gina told her she should have lied about the rumors she had heard about Gamble… Excuse me? I don’t remember Gina saying any such thing… Janet says she intends to put the Gamble issue to bed.

Gina has a photoshoot for some publicity shots, the products of which we have been seeing on Twitter recently. I recognize the fabulous red dress. The photographer apparently works for Playboy, which becomes evident as he flirts shamelessly with Gina. But I don’t blame him. Gina looked hot, but the whole part of her posing on the car was a bit uncomfortable…

Jackie and Ben have dinner with Chyka and Bruce at one of their pop-up restaurants. Jackie says she has to talk to Chyka about Janet; it seems she wants to hear Chyka’s side of the story. Chyka still insists that she was only talking about what was said in the papers, but that Janet brought it to another level with the sexual rumors. They also seem to think that Janet wouldn’t flirt with Gamble’s husband Rick because Janet prefers younger men, but would that necessarily put Rick out of the running? He’s not “young”, but he’s probably younger than Janet.

The day of the golf game has arrived, and Gamble says she doesn’t want to feel beaten, so she decides to join them in golfing. I have a feeling she was pressured into going, however… Chyka and Gamble are the first to arrive at the golf course, and Chyka apologizes for starting the conversation about the rumors. She says she didn’t know that Janet was going to take it that far. I think Chyka knew more than she is letting on, but she’s being smart and strategic about it. I can’t blame her; I would do the same… Gina shows up at the golf course in pumps and a dress… I’m having tennis flashbacks from last season… She says she has a TV appearance after the golf game is over. Janet says it will be hilarious to watch Gina try to golf in a dress… So this time Janet is fine with the attire, but last season she found it to be ridiculous… On the other hand, Janet says Gamble was pushing the dress code with her short shorts. I don’t know what the big deal was. I’ve seen shorter shorts. At least it wasn’t Pettifleur who we know likes to go commando…

I must take a moment to bring up Gina walking in flat shoes… She walked on her toes like a ballerina, as if she were still wearing heels. It’s as if her feet are permanently locked into that position. What does she wear around her house? I assume pumps… Gamble can’t seem to figure out the golf cart… I cannot begin to tell you how shocked that made me… They begin to “golf”… I put that word in quotation marks because I don’t think many people would or could call what these women are doing “golf”. They were better at driving the golf carts, and that’s saying a lot. Maybe they should stick to the gossiping. They’re better suited to that sport.

After what seemed to be a fun day of poor golfing, you know there was going to be some fighting… Jackie, the peacemaker, says that neither she nor Gina were present for the actual lunch where all of the drama started, and, therefore, they should stay out of it. She suggests that the three (Gamble, Janet, and Chyka) should talk about it. Once again, in her interview, Janet claims that Chyka is to blame, yet somehow Chyka has “slithered” out of responsibility…

Toward the end of the argument, we hear something that I have never heard on reality tv before. Gamble says that if one ever hears anything about her, talk about it behind her back; don’t say it to her face… Of course, this is logically how the world works, but no one ever says that. Housewives tend to say the opposite, even though they don’t really mean it. They are always yapping about how they want everything to be said to their Botox-ridden faces; however, even if that happens fighting and drama ensues. It’s a lose-lose situation for the housewives, but it’s a win-win situation for us as viewers…

Gamble and Janet eventually hug it out, and Gamble says that she hasn’t acted that way since kindergarten… But I have a feeling things won’t stay this way for long.

Chyka then invites the ladies to a dinner, and she is somewhat secretive of the details. She says she is confident the ladies will be fine, but at the same time she is only cautiously optimistic. Chyka’s a smart lady…