This episode starts out with Chyka and her husband, Bruce,
on a date. Chyka tells us how they are both so busy with their jobs that they
have to schedule time together just to have dinner. During dinner, they discuss
some of the gossip surrounding the other women. They discuss Janet and her new
man, who is only 35 years old. Bruce then attempts a joke by saying that Janet
is only 36 years old. What he doesn’t mention is that Janet is actually
celebrating the 36th anniversary of turning 36 years old. Chyka also
mentions how she is giving advice to Ben and Jackie about their new alcohol
business. At the end of the date, Bruce brings Chyka to an amusement park that
he rented out just for the two of them. They ride the carousel holding onto
each other. Now that’s a classy way to end a date.
Next we see Janet entering her jeweler’s store. Earlier in
the season we saw Jackie tell Janet during her psychic reading that Janet would
be getting rid of some of her jewelry. Janet took matters into her own hands
and decided to melt down her old wedding rings and make a new ring for herself.
She got rid of the negative energy from her failed marriages in hopes of
creating a new ring celebrating her independence. We see the jeweler pull out
the new ring complete with a diamond big enough to be used as a murder weapon.
The other ladies better watch out.
Jackie meets her husband, Ben, at an art studio. Ben gives
us a Fifty Shades of Grey moment when
he seductively blindfolds Jackie and leads her into the next room. Unfortunately,
the only thing Ben shows Jackie is a piece of art that will be used as the
label of La Mascara. Jackie proceeds to drip paint and glitter onto the
portrait resulting in what looked like a bad acid trip.
On to Janet’s birthday party… Jackie and Andrea are first to
arrive. Of course Andrea brings up the Gina vs. Jackie feud that has now been
going on for the last five episodes. Jackie seems to be over it, but Andrea is
salivating at the drama. Janet and Chyka arrive followed shortly by the
fabulous Gina who always makes an entrance. Jackie and Gina are seen laughing
and enjoying themselves as they sit next to each other eating birthday cake.
Jackie and Andrea go to the bar to refill their champagne, and Andrea again
stokes the fire talking about how out of line Gina has been. When they return,
Andrea decides to passive-aggressively bring up how someone she knows has been
acting child-like and aggressively. She asks the group if they think it is
appropriate to bring something like that up to the person. Much to Andrea’s
disappointment, the ladies say that that is a conversation that should be had
in private. As Andrea is prone to do, she ignores what the women have just said
and begins to scold Gina in front of everyone. Andrea says, “You bring barrister
life into your personal life,” and she calls Gina aggressive. To call Andrea a
“hypocrite” is an exercise in understatement. How can you call someone out for
ruining a housewarming party by bringing up drama while in doing so you too are
causing drama and ruining Janet’s birthday party? Maybe it’s a good thing
Andrea’s nannies raise her kids. I would hate to see logic like that be taught
to another generation. After the scolding, Gina and Janet excuse themselves to
the bathroom. We see Gina’s words as subtitles, and she calls Lydia a… well
let’s just say “bitch with a capital C”. We then hear Andrea say that she is
certain Gina was talking about her… At least we all know that everyone’s world
and life revolves around Andrea. Aren’t you happy to know that?... The ladies
relocate to the Love Machine, a nightclub, for “gay and drag queen night” where
Gina tells us she feels “at home” with the makeup and big hair. Janet ends the
night with a nugget of wisdom. She says, “All birthdays are significant…If you’re
not going to have another one, it sucks, cuz you’re dead!” Wow… Someone crochet
that on a pillow immediately.
In other news, Andrea is writing a book about being a “working
mum”. I wonder if Andrea’s checklist for her nannies includes “write my book”. I
have a feeling they might have more experience in that department… Andrea has
assembled a focus group, and she gives them one of her infamous checklists.
When the ladies of the focus group start giving Andrea negative feedback, she
gets extremely passive-aggressive with them to the point of insulting them.
During a scene in which Janet and Gina are having dinner
together, Janet calls Lydia “brainless”. This is juxtaposed with a scene where
Lydia is discussing art and says that the Louvre is in London… Coincidence?
Gotta love those editors.
At Andrea’s house we see Andrea and Jackie gossiping about
what was said in the bathroom at Janet’s birthday party. Andrea discloses that
she called Gina to confront her about talking about her book in the bathroom, something
she says she heard from Janet. Gina says that she was talking about Lydia’s
book, but again, Andrea is convinced that she is the center of everyone’s
universe and Gina must have been talking about her.
At the end of the episode, Janet brings Jackie to a “Ladies
that Lunch” event. I’m sure Jackie would have rather given Gina another psychic
reading than be there, but she put on a brave face. Janet says what we already
know, that Gina was not talking about Andrea in the bathroom. The look on
Jackie’s face says what we’re all thinking. What is the truth and who’s lying?!
This story is getting too convoluted…
This episode and the next episode are building up the
tension and storylines for an explosive trip coming later in the season. They
might seem a bit boring right now, but they are necessary for what is to come. Buckle
up everyone.
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